My house currently smells like our septic tank. Don't get me wrong, I've very grateful for the septic tank guy, but our house always smells so bad afterwards! I'm hoping the smell goes away before the guys show up tonight.
I'm feeling lazy again today. I was sore this morning when I woke up, but my fingers weren't swollen! No matter what anyone says, while the diet food is good (most of it) it still doesn't taste as good as a casserole or real lasagna. I really hope I can work whole grains and milk back into the diet sometime.
Things to do today: school with Molly, clean up the basement and get it vacuumed, generally straighten and clean the first floor (especially the bathroom). And I would LOVE to get the bedrooms cleaned up as well, but that's not going to happen. Light some candles.

New Plan

Since my last post, the kids went outside, stripped down and got filthy. I bathed Lorelei in the kitchen sink before putting her down for a nap, but Molly and Maggie are still naked and dirty and I don't feel like changing that, so I'll go out when Bob gets home from work. Liam is sleeping now anyway.
I got most of what I wanted done accomplished, so I'm satisfied for now...

Wastes of Time

I'm wondering if I have the will power to limit my computer usage (or at least non specific usage) to twice a day. Non specific also includes checking my email since, unless it's expected, nothing is urgent and if it's urgent I usually communicate via phone anyway. I waste a lot of time sitting in front of my computer. If I got on, say, first thing in the morning and then didn't get on again until after the kids were in bed, I'd have a awful lot more time to do stuff around the house and with my kids. Not that the computer really takes all that much away from my kids, but it definitely helps me procrastinate on housework!
It's 11:30 and I just finished doing dishes. Not even finished them - they still need to be put away. And it's 11:30. Lunch time. Time to make more dirty dishes. I remember when Bob and I used to have an empty sink for at least a couple of hours in the afternoon.
I love my children and, to be honest, I'm enjoying them now more than I have in the past 2 years or so, but I am so glad they don't stay little any longer than they do. Not only am I excited to see how they change and who they become, but I'm also really looking forward to the day when they can really help out around here and do thing for themselves and aren't so labor intensive. I'm looking forward to being able to hop in the car and go someplace or even - gasp! - go someplace on my own and leave them her without a babysitter! Of course, that's about 8 years away. But it will happen some day!
I still haven't logged Molly into school yet. I need to clean up the living room and vacuum the first floor and then, when Liam wakes up and the kids have had lunch, we can go out and get the stuff we need. Maybe I'll just do school with her tomorrow... I don't think she has that much to do today.
I'm behind on pictures... I still need to do this month's teddy picture with the kids. Maybe I'll get that done this afternoon as well. Oh, and I need a shower...
Guess I should stop typing.

Diet

I forgot to mention that in a weeks time I am comfortably down to 2 Lyrica a day (as opposed to 3) and have taken Advil only one time in a week (as opposed to about 9 a day - no I am not exaggerating). From that point of view, the diet is working!

Crappy Day, Crappy Day

Actually, I suppose it's not that bad, I just can't see well at the moment... I'm not sure what my contact is doing...
It appears I have a publicist as well. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It makes me feel self conscious. Like now I have to write something really profound.
I have to go out shopping to day, at least to get formula for the kids. I'd like to get some clothes for them and a few other things, but since we are on our way to bankruptcy, I guess I won't.
I hate spiders. At the moment three is one crawling on the wall next to my desk. Hold on - have to kill it.
I don't have much to do today. Buy formula. School with Molly. Prepare some food for dinner - we're having company around 6. I'd like to get at least the first floor in decent order and maybe even clean the bathroom. I get so tired of living in a crap heap.
I broke down and made the chocolate substitute last night. It definitely does not taste like chocolate but it satisfied most of my sweet craving.
I'm struggling with the diet. It's not so much that it's hard to do, it's the idea of giving up all those yummy foods for good. And that there are a lot of things I have to make from scratch now, which is pretty inconvenient with 4 little kids. I need to go through my cabinets and separate out the stuff that I can't eat. Some of it I'm giving to my sister. There are a few things I'm not going to take away from the kids. Cheerios. Breads - although I will start buying whole grain. Zone Bars. I told them last night that once all the cookies and things are gone we're not going to buy any more. They didn't really like it, but maybe we can ease them into it. We don't eat too much of that stuff anyway, so I'm not sure they'll really notice all that much, especially if I come up with some kind of substitute. The whole things is so expensive and takes so much more planning. I guess I'll get used to the planning... but we're looking out of a hole right now as far as money goes. I'm so hoping this next year is easier.
I just don't understand where all the money goes. I mean, I know there are some things that are expensive (like this whole diet) but, for the most part, on paper it works out and then in real life, it doesn't. We always make a budget and stick to it for a while and then something always happens and we get out of it and then we get all upset about it and decide we don't care and then we're really irresponsible for a while and then we get stressed about it and then tighten the reigns so much that it's impossible to follow and then sit down and make a budget and stick to it for a while... Our most expensive months are from about mid-October to mid March or so. That's only 5 months. That leaves more than half the year that we should be able to follow whatever budget fairly easily. It's not a good sign that we're headed towards the expensive months already stressed about money.
I used to think that most people carried at least a little bit of debt. Now I'm not so sure - at least not in our circle of friends. The thing is, we've cut so many corners and already do so much - I just don't know what else we can do. I wish I had gotten my grandfathers coupon cutting gene.
I feel like I can't even think rationally about it. It's really hard for me to think about anything when my house is a mess. I know that probably sounds retarded, but it's true. My brain is even more connected with my atmosphere than it used to be, probably because I have less capacity to multi task (brain-wise, anyway) and I really hate mess.
Well, all the kids are downstairs now, so I really need to get moving on the day. Ugh... I just want to go back to bed!

Cravings

Last night and today have been a bit rough as far as cravings go. I haven't made anything sweet yet - there is a chocolate substitute I can make, but I haven't yet and I think I need to! :) As long as I don't let myself get too hungry I'm ok, but if my stomach starts growling all I want are carbs!
I'm having fun posting old pictures. I need to steal more from my mom! For some reason "my" box had all sorts of other pictures in it as well. I wish I had the money to get all the negatives I stole printed...
Pretty boring day. Molly did most of her school yesterday and what she had left she did without complaining(!!) this morning. Lorelei and Liam have both napped well today. Liam is still asleep - we're going on 2 1/2 hours! Molly and Maggie haven't fought too bad. We've had a bunch of media today - computer and videos - but I guess every once in a while you need a day like that.

Blast from the Past

I recently aquired my favorite picture of Bob when he was younger. I've added a picture of me at about the same age...

So much for writing daily...

I am the queen of making plans/schedules and not following through on them. So the diet is going fairly well. I feel like I eat a ton all the time. I cheated today and ate a sweet gherkin. Basically if anything has over 5 grams of carbs per 3 1/2 ounces I'm not supposed to eat it. But that seems to be the only restriction (other than avoiding most dairy, grains, fruits and sugars). I can eat whenever I'm hungry and however much it takes for me to not be hungry. But I really can't wait until my new cookbook comes because I don't really have that many ideas for meal recipes.
Today wasn't a horrible day, but it wasn't that great either. I slept most of the morning (I was up late at Cherie's and then even later doing dishes). Then I had my appointment with Ida and then school with Molly. We got everything done, but she still complains so much!!

Much later

I always mean to go to bed early and never do...