I love the empty, uncluttered feeling of the house after all the Christmas decorations are taken down. I feel like I can breathe easier. I can't wait until Monday. All will be back to normal and we can continue on with life. The month between Thanksgiving and New Years is fun, but exhausting and there is no groove to get into. I like my groove.
The kids are dying to get out and play in the snow. I haven't gotten their snowsuits out yet, despite all the snow so far this season. I don't like the thought of icy, pine-needley puddles on my already dirty floor. Though, I suppose, since it's already dirty it shouldn't really matter to me.
Next Friday I get the day to myself. I'm taking the little kids to the babysitters right after Molly gets picked up and won't pick them up until after Molly gets dropped off. My only real goal is getting the stuff for Salvation Army sorted the night before and dropped off that morning. But getting the floors mopped would be a nice plus.
Though I'm trying hard, I'm not looking forward to the next three months. They are the dreariest months of the year. Though we have 10 birthdays scattered throughout (including my own!), it doesn't do much to permeate the day to day blahness. At least Bob and I get a weekend away at the end of January. I still cannot wait until spring truly arrives, though (which, in Pennsylvania, much to my disappointment, is usually mid to late April, not March). Maybe I shall count down the days on my calendar.
I'm craving a trip to my Granny's as well. It feels like forever since we've been there, even though it's only been a few months. She's not doing well and I want to see her again in case things get bad. I know the day she dies is inevitable but I can't imagine life without Granny alive and it's only just begun to really sink in that that day will come sooner rather than later. She still might have a decade left, but 10 years doesn't seem long anymore.
I'm starting 2010 on the heels of a very bad year. 2009 was dreadful for so many reasons. While I have reason to believe 2010 will be much better, emotional remnants of 2009 remain. Sometimes I wish I could just turn that part of me off. Turn off my brain, turn off my heart, live life blissfully ignorant of anything other than superficial awareness. Either that or be truly satisfied in the richness of all God has to offer and be able to filter out all the unwanted dross. Shallow clear water or muddy deep water seems to be my only options so far, though. Oh, for the deep, clear Caribbean water, teaming with life, thriving in the tropical sunshine.
31.12.09
29.12.09
So it's one of those days
where I'm so tired I can't focus on anything. Not that there's really that much to do. I tried to keep on top of the toy issue over our Christmases, so the house is still relatively neat. I actually got to clean the bathrooms yesterday so I'm not feeling the pressing need to clean anything else (the bathrooms and the kitchen being my pet peeves if they're dirty). My dishes do need to be washed. Bob bought me a lovely potted yellow rose bush to put in my kitchen window and it's beauty is marred by the two sinks full of dirty dishes begging to be washed. But they haven't begged hard enough yet.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I should have taken the opportunity to nap this afternoon. Liam and Lorelei have actually been quiet for quite some time now. Why is it that they nap well when I don't and not at all when I try to? Molly is with her grandmother for the afternoon so it's just Maggie and I, sitting here on our computers. She's rather chatty this afternoon. She's been telling me 'knock knock jokes' except that she doesn't really understand then so the punch line is usually nonsense. It's hard for me to concentrate on her voice since it's babble mixed in with real conversation.
What will next fall be like when 3 of my 4 kids are gone at least part of the day? I have my schedule all planned: get Molly on the bus, take Lorelei to preschool, run errands with Maggie and Liam, pick Lorelei up, eat lunch with the kids, get Maggie on the bus, put Lorelei and Liam down for naps and then Molly and Maggie come home around 4.
I've decided that when Liam is in first grade I am painting my house top to bottom. I have my color scheme, I know what kind of paint I'm getting. I'll have 7 hours every day to devote to painting. I'm filling holes, sanding walls and repainting EVERYTHING.
Can someone please explain to me why Lorelei finds it necessary to cry after her naps? I thought that was the point of naps - they're supposed to refresh you so you're happy again.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I should have taken the opportunity to nap this afternoon. Liam and Lorelei have actually been quiet for quite some time now. Why is it that they nap well when I don't and not at all when I try to? Molly is with her grandmother for the afternoon so it's just Maggie and I, sitting here on our computers. She's rather chatty this afternoon. She's been telling me 'knock knock jokes' except that she doesn't really understand then so the punch line is usually nonsense. It's hard for me to concentrate on her voice since it's babble mixed in with real conversation.
What will next fall be like when 3 of my 4 kids are gone at least part of the day? I have my schedule all planned: get Molly on the bus, take Lorelei to preschool, run errands with Maggie and Liam, pick Lorelei up, eat lunch with the kids, get Maggie on the bus, put Lorelei and Liam down for naps and then Molly and Maggie come home around 4.
I've decided that when Liam is in first grade I am painting my house top to bottom. I have my color scheme, I know what kind of paint I'm getting. I'll have 7 hours every day to devote to painting. I'm filling holes, sanding walls and repainting EVERYTHING.
Can someone please explain to me why Lorelei finds it necessary to cry after her naps? I thought that was the point of naps - they're supposed to refresh you so you're happy again.
2.12.09
OMG
So, I'm sitting in my bed, minding my own sick business, coughing up a storm and blowing my nose every two seconds while watching The Three Faces of Eve on my laptop. I'm getting rather annoyed because my kids are supposed to be in bed going to sleep and they're not. Bob's out shopping because we ran out of pull ups and the last thing I want to do when I'm feeling this way is pop in and out of bed because someone can't sleep, or needs their cup filled, or needs another bottle or a song or a book or is bored or whatever other excuses might strike their fancy.
"Mommy, I pooped!" Finally an excuse I can embrace. Especially since Lorelei hasn't pooped for 2 days and is showing signs of constipation. Except that she didn't poop. She changed it to "I peed and have a tummy ache" as I walked in the room. Rather than deal with multiple attempts to poop and in the end giving her a suppository anyway I decided to get it out of the way. As I'm putting her diaper back on, I hear Liam in his room, climb out of his bed, onto his changing table, turn on his light and start fussing. "Stay here." I tell Lorelei. "I'm going to put Liam back to bed and then I'll come back." "Ok, Mommy" she replies.
I make Liam another bottle and go into his room, get him situated and tucked in and turn off his light. As I close his door I hear the sounds of massive retching. "Mommy, I puked!" Ug.
Why does Lorelei always have to puke on the nights she eats hot dogs? And why did she have to wait until her formula was in her tummy just long enough to get curdled? "Stay right there." I command. "I have to call Daddy." Normally when the kids puke, I clean the kid, he cleans the room. I leave a voice mail. "Lorelei has projectile vomited massive amounts of puke. I need you to come home now." On my way back to her room, I hear her puke again and then a third time as I walk in.
We have these things called 'Barf Buckets'. They're little white trash cans bought for the sole purpose of puking in them. Each kids has one, somewhere within arms reach of their beds in the hopes that cleaning up puke will be an easy, painless process. Lorelei has decided that, not only is the barf bucket not necessary, the more amusing goal is to see if she can get puke everywhere EXCEPT the barf bucket.
I start a bath, undress her and put her in and start working on her room. Strip her bed and changing pad, wipe down her dresser, move the dresser and wipe down the wall, wipe down her mattress, take the mattress off the bed, wipe down the bed frame, move the bed and wipe down the rest of the wall and floor. "Mommy, I have to poop!"
So I put her on the potty and wipe down the bathroom, just for the fun of it, while I'm waiting for the deed to be done. That finished, I plop her back in the bath and go back to her room to wipe down her nightstand and the toys and books that 'just happened' to be on the floor instead of on the shelf where they belong.
In the meantime, Liam has gotten back out of bed and is trying to get out of his room by knocking a hole through his door. Molly thinks it's funny to stand in her doorway and laugh every time she sees his little hand poke out from under the door. He starts clawing at the floor and crying like he's in solitary confinement in the big house. Rather than deal with listening to him as well, I send Molly in to his room to entertain him. I guess she thought I meant 'let him roam the halls and come into the puke room to see what bits of puked up hot dog he can eat.' Somewhere in the midst of this Bob comes home - not because he got my message (since his phone battery died) but because he finished shopping.
I'm almost done cleaning up the now dried puke splatters off the last of Lorelei's floor when she gets out of the tub and announces she's done. Since I haven't actually washed the puke out of her hair yet, I order her back in and try to finish cleaning her room. "Mommy, I pooped in the bathtub!" WTF!!
Not only did she poop in the bathtub, but I guess she tried to make it to the potty as well because there was rather watery poop on the floor and somehow on the shower curtain, rather reminiscent of the way a hippo poops underwater. So I wipe the floor, drain the tub, wipe the tub, refill the tub, wash Lorelei and finally get her back into her room, where Bob has finished cleaning, straightening and putting sheets back on her bed.
We get Lorelei tucked in, Liam tucked in, the older girls back in their rooms and Bob heads downstairs to start laundry. I head back to bed to blog.
"Mommy, I pooped!" Finally an excuse I can embrace. Especially since Lorelei hasn't pooped for 2 days and is showing signs of constipation. Except that she didn't poop. She changed it to "I peed and have a tummy ache" as I walked in the room. Rather than deal with multiple attempts to poop and in the end giving her a suppository anyway I decided to get it out of the way. As I'm putting her diaper back on, I hear Liam in his room, climb out of his bed, onto his changing table, turn on his light and start fussing. "Stay here." I tell Lorelei. "I'm going to put Liam back to bed and then I'll come back." "Ok, Mommy" she replies.
I make Liam another bottle and go into his room, get him situated and tucked in and turn off his light. As I close his door I hear the sounds of massive retching. "Mommy, I puked!" Ug.
Why does Lorelei always have to puke on the nights she eats hot dogs? And why did she have to wait until her formula was in her tummy just long enough to get curdled? "Stay right there." I command. "I have to call Daddy." Normally when the kids puke, I clean the kid, he cleans the room. I leave a voice mail. "Lorelei has projectile vomited massive amounts of puke. I need you to come home now." On my way back to her room, I hear her puke again and then a third time as I walk in.
We have these things called 'Barf Buckets'. They're little white trash cans bought for the sole purpose of puking in them. Each kids has one, somewhere within arms reach of their beds in the hopes that cleaning up puke will be an easy, painless process. Lorelei has decided that, not only is the barf bucket not necessary, the more amusing goal is to see if she can get puke everywhere EXCEPT the barf bucket.
I start a bath, undress her and put her in and start working on her room. Strip her bed and changing pad, wipe down her dresser, move the dresser and wipe down the wall, wipe down her mattress, take the mattress off the bed, wipe down the bed frame, move the bed and wipe down the rest of the wall and floor. "Mommy, I have to poop!"
So I put her on the potty and wipe down the bathroom, just for the fun of it, while I'm waiting for the deed to be done. That finished, I plop her back in the bath and go back to her room to wipe down her nightstand and the toys and books that 'just happened' to be on the floor instead of on the shelf where they belong.
In the meantime, Liam has gotten back out of bed and is trying to get out of his room by knocking a hole through his door. Molly thinks it's funny to stand in her doorway and laugh every time she sees his little hand poke out from under the door. He starts clawing at the floor and crying like he's in solitary confinement in the big house. Rather than deal with listening to him as well, I send Molly in to his room to entertain him. I guess she thought I meant 'let him roam the halls and come into the puke room to see what bits of puked up hot dog he can eat.' Somewhere in the midst of this Bob comes home - not because he got my message (since his phone battery died) but because he finished shopping.
I'm almost done cleaning up the now dried puke splatters off the last of Lorelei's floor when she gets out of the tub and announces she's done. Since I haven't actually washed the puke out of her hair yet, I order her back in and try to finish cleaning her room. "Mommy, I pooped in the bathtub!" WTF!!
Not only did she poop in the bathtub, but I guess she tried to make it to the potty as well because there was rather watery poop on the floor and somehow on the shower curtain, rather reminiscent of the way a hippo poops underwater. So I wipe the floor, drain the tub, wipe the tub, refill the tub, wash Lorelei and finally get her back into her room, where Bob has finished cleaning, straightening and putting sheets back on her bed.
We get Lorelei tucked in, Liam tucked in, the older girls back in their rooms and Bob heads downstairs to start laundry. I head back to bed to blog.
16.11.09
I'm "bored"
I use the term loosely because, to me, boredom is a lack of anything to do and I have plenty to do. Although, if it is simply being tired of doing what there is to do, then I am, most definitely, bored. I could do general straightening, actual cleaning, dishes and/or laundry, but... yeah, that's the way most of my days go.
Last night was not a restful night. The kids were up at least 3 times between 1 am and 6 am. I got up twice with them and at least once just to pee during that time. I woke up with the one I didn't get up with. And after getting out of bed each time, had a hard time falling asleep due to snoring. I feel bad waking Bob up to tell him to roll over because that interrupts his sleep too, but I just cannot get to sleep if he's snoring. Once I'm asleep I don't notice it, but, as it was, I did not sleep well last night at all. So I have no energy for chores.
I have to say, though, that there really isn't TON to do, unless you count actual cleaning. I've been pretty on top of things since Friday - and even before. Lyrica and Cymbalta make all the difference in the world. As long as I can take those two little pills before I fall asleep at night, I'm good to go.
Last night was not a restful night. The kids were up at least 3 times between 1 am and 6 am. I got up twice with them and at least once just to pee during that time. I woke up with the one I didn't get up with. And after getting out of bed each time, had a hard time falling asleep due to snoring. I feel bad waking Bob up to tell him to roll over because that interrupts his sleep too, but I just cannot get to sleep if he's snoring. Once I'm asleep I don't notice it, but, as it was, I did not sleep well last night at all. So I have no energy for chores.
I have to say, though, that there really isn't TON to do, unless you count actual cleaning. I've been pretty on top of things since Friday - and even before. Lyrica and Cymbalta make all the difference in the world. As long as I can take those two little pills before I fall asleep at night, I'm good to go.
2.11.09
Random post, for the sake of posting
So, I haven't written in, like, forever! :) And I probably won't too much in the near future. I'm writing a book for NaNoWriMo, so I have a feeling I'll be tapped out.
My house smells yummy right now. I'm making pumpkin bread for the PTA bake sale. Tomorrow morning I have to rush around and make cheesy bread and corn bread for the PTA teacher's luncheon. I have to be there to set up and then I have Molly's parent/teacher meeting in the afternoon. Then the PTA monthly meeting is that night. I haven't spent so much time at a school since I graduated! I think we'll be there tonight for the book fair family night as well. It feels nice to be involved with stuff. I haven't really made any friends, but at least I'm busy.
I should be busier than blogging right now. Mom's going to be at my house all day tomorrow, watching the kiddos and I really need to get the house cleaned up so she isn't all stressed out (any more than she will be taking care of my 4 monsters!). But I'm so tired. I ran out of Lyrica (my pain med) so I haven't had it in over 24 hours and my prescription expired as well, so it will probably be a few days until I can get it again. I don't know if I'll be able to walk by Tuesday night.
The kids are great. Into trouble as usual, but finally getting over colds and in between misbehaving, being sweet. It amazes me how much damage they do, though. I constantly wonder what the heck is going through their minds.
My house smells yummy right now. I'm making pumpkin bread for the PTA bake sale. Tomorrow morning I have to rush around and make cheesy bread and corn bread for the PTA teacher's luncheon. I have to be there to set up and then I have Molly's parent/teacher meeting in the afternoon. Then the PTA monthly meeting is that night. I haven't spent so much time at a school since I graduated! I think we'll be there tonight for the book fair family night as well. It feels nice to be involved with stuff. I haven't really made any friends, but at least I'm busy.
I should be busier than blogging right now. Mom's going to be at my house all day tomorrow, watching the kiddos and I really need to get the house cleaned up so she isn't all stressed out (any more than she will be taking care of my 4 monsters!). But I'm so tired. I ran out of Lyrica (my pain med) so I haven't had it in over 24 hours and my prescription expired as well, so it will probably be a few days until I can get it again. I don't know if I'll be able to walk by Tuesday night.
The kids are great. Into trouble as usual, but finally getting over colds and in between misbehaving, being sweet. It amazes me how much damage they do, though. I constantly wonder what the heck is going through their minds.
17.9.09
Molly's been to school for almost three full weeks now and she loves it! And so do we! :) It' s been so quiet around here most days. I was fairly productive the first week of three kids, a little less so the second and not at at the third. I have a pretty decent excuse, though. The insurance company won't pay for my pain med of choice anymore, so I'm having to find another one that works and so far, no dice.
31.8.09
In which Molly goes off to school
First day of school. Molly went in without a fight, no tears (as far as I know) and I have 7 long hours without her.
24.8.09
My Addiction
So, maybe it was the large, mocha frappuccino that I drank at 9 pm or maybe it was just time, but for whatever reason I have sudden clarity on my life in a way that I never have before.
I am an addict. My drug of choice is people.
It might sound strange, or maybe it doesn't, but I can attest to it's pervasive and destructive thread throughout my life. It comes with everything addictions hold - particularly cravings that I will do anything to satisfy.
I wonder how many people have this addiction? Actors, prostitutes, politicians, serial cheaters, desperate housewives, rapists? Think of anyone who goes to any extreme to get satisfaction, fulfillment out of another human being and you have a potential addict.
As exhilarating (and awake inducing) as this clarity is, it's terrifying as well. How many behaviors am I going to have to change to break this addiction? How many people will I have to avoid or modify my contact with? How hard am I going to have to work to replace my cravings with something healthy? What happens if I can't do it?
I am an addict. My drug of choice is people.
It might sound strange, or maybe it doesn't, but I can attest to it's pervasive and destructive thread throughout my life. It comes with everything addictions hold - particularly cravings that I will do anything to satisfy.
I wonder how many people have this addiction? Actors, prostitutes, politicians, serial cheaters, desperate housewives, rapists? Think of anyone who goes to any extreme to get satisfaction, fulfillment out of another human being and you have a potential addict.
As exhilarating (and awake inducing) as this clarity is, it's terrifying as well. How many behaviors am I going to have to change to break this addiction? How many people will I have to avoid or modify my contact with? How hard am I going to have to work to replace my cravings with something healthy? What happens if I can't do it?
21.8.09
Just thought I'd update.
It's been quite the hiatus. I've lived raw life in spite of reality until reality consumed me and left me empty and bleeding. Now I don't know how to find meaning in it.
22.6.09
I love
In the wake of a miserable mood swing (and while I wait for Molly to wake up so we can go to Faith's), I thought I'd write a list of all the things I love, no matter how cliche or predictable.
I love my mugs. Every Valentine's Day Bob buys me an over sized mug. They're the only ones I use. And I love them.
I love hearing my kids laugh. The best is when they're making each other laugh. But I like making them laugh too. Sometimes they laugh at the simplest things. It always makes me feel better.
I love talking to people. I'm not always the best conversationalist and can tend to be self centered and boring, but my relationships with people mean a lot to me.
I love being a hostess and having people over to the house to hang out. Partially because I love being entertained and partially because I love to make other people happy, at least for a little while. Whether it's with food or entertainment - it makes me happy to see other people enjoy something I've done.
I love the idea of living simply. Having a garden, hanging wash out to dry. Not having excess stuff laying around. Minimal technology.
That being said, I love facebook. :)
I love writing as a way to purge my soul.
I love reading as a way to escape my life.
I love accounting because numbers don't change.
I love being comfortable in my environment. Lived in, full of hand-me-downs, so it's personal, yet neat and clean and organized.
I love the smell of spf and the ocean. I love them smell of rain and warm wet earth.
I love a good thunderstorm.
I love getting a good picture of my kids.
I love the possibility that my life will get better, easier, closer to my ideal.
I love feeling things deeply.
I love my labeled boxes of art supplies.
I love the 'moments' in my house where the decor finally came together in a picturesque way.
I love sunshine.
I love the Blues. I love the sultry way that genre of music embraces me.
I love the way Liam is a boy, the way he makes car noises, the way he loves technology, the way he plays with 'boy toys'.
I love buying new clothes.
I love movies (or TV shows) that make me feel something.
I love the process of falling asleep when I'm really tired.
I love my weekends away from the kids with Bob.
I love my family, even though they stress me out.
I love looking out my windows and seeing horses running by.
I love looking out my windows and seeing groundhogs running by.
I love watching trees moving in the wind.
I love staring out at the ocean and feeling completely engulfed in it.
I love dew.
I love the way the air feels at sunrise, wet, cool, fresh.
I love the way the air feels on a summer night, warm and damp and heavy.
I love my washing machine and dryer.
I love the smell of clothes drying.
I love playing games and feeling smart while I do it. I don't even mind losing most of the time.
I love winning.
I love the light in the living room in the morning when the sun shines through the curtains.
I love my daydreams.
I love rocking my babies to sleep. I love the feel of their bodies, warm and relaxed in my arms. I love the way their eyelashes look so long on their cheeks. I love their little kissable mouths.
I love Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.
I love my mugs. Every Valentine's Day Bob buys me an over sized mug. They're the only ones I use. And I love them.
I love hearing my kids laugh. The best is when they're making each other laugh. But I like making them laugh too. Sometimes they laugh at the simplest things. It always makes me feel better.
I love talking to people. I'm not always the best conversationalist and can tend to be self centered and boring, but my relationships with people mean a lot to me.
I love being a hostess and having people over to the house to hang out. Partially because I love being entertained and partially because I love to make other people happy, at least for a little while. Whether it's with food or entertainment - it makes me happy to see other people enjoy something I've done.
I love the idea of living simply. Having a garden, hanging wash out to dry. Not having excess stuff laying around. Minimal technology.
That being said, I love facebook. :)
I love writing as a way to purge my soul.
I love reading as a way to escape my life.
I love accounting because numbers don't change.
I love being comfortable in my environment. Lived in, full of hand-me-downs, so it's personal, yet neat and clean and organized.
I love the smell of spf and the ocean. I love them smell of rain and warm wet earth.
I love a good thunderstorm.
I love getting a good picture of my kids.
I love the possibility that my life will get better, easier, closer to my ideal.
I love feeling things deeply.
I love my labeled boxes of art supplies.
I love the 'moments' in my house where the decor finally came together in a picturesque way.
I love sunshine.
I love the Blues. I love the sultry way that genre of music embraces me.
I love the way Liam is a boy, the way he makes car noises, the way he loves technology, the way he plays with 'boy toys'.
I love buying new clothes.
I love movies (or TV shows) that make me feel something.
I love the process of falling asleep when I'm really tired.
I love my weekends away from the kids with Bob.
I love my family, even though they stress me out.
I love looking out my windows and seeing horses running by.
I love looking out my windows and seeing groundhogs running by.
I love watching trees moving in the wind.
I love staring out at the ocean and feeling completely engulfed in it.
I love dew.
I love the way the air feels at sunrise, wet, cool, fresh.
I love the way the air feels on a summer night, warm and damp and heavy.
I love my washing machine and dryer.
I love the smell of clothes drying.
I love playing games and feeling smart while I do it. I don't even mind losing most of the time.
I love winning.
I love the light in the living room in the morning when the sun shines through the curtains.
I love my daydreams.
I love rocking my babies to sleep. I love the feel of their bodies, warm and relaxed in my arms. I love the way their eyelashes look so long on their cheeks. I love their little kissable mouths.
I love Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.
19.6.09
Misc
Here's hoping the antibiotics Dr. R. gave Liam make him less cranky. I'm sure how much more I can take! My happy go lucky, laid back little guy has been so whiny and clingy lately! Not to mention vomiting every day because of choking on mucus. I could do with a lot less of that.
I am still crazily happy about my clean floor. Of course with the guys coming over tonight it will probably get all dirty again, but it was clean! For a few whole hours!! :)
Faith has the girls strawberry picking and Liam and Lorelei are watching a video, so I'm rather 'bored' at the moment. Of course there are dishes and laundry and general straightening to do. And If I were feeling REALLY ambitious, I'd vacuum under my bed. But...
What am I going to do with everyone this afternoon? Liam is already tired so I'm thinking skipping naps isn't a possibility, but it's only 10:17 and I'm already wishing for the day to be farther progressed.
I forgot to make sticky buns last night, so we have to do brownies tonight. Maybe I'll take the kids to the grocery store and pick up something for dinner. And strawberry shortcake.
I am still crazily happy about my clean floor. Of course with the guys coming over tonight it will probably get all dirty again, but it was clean! For a few whole hours!! :)
Faith has the girls strawberry picking and Liam and Lorelei are watching a video, so I'm rather 'bored' at the moment. Of course there are dishes and laundry and general straightening to do. And If I were feeling REALLY ambitious, I'd vacuum under my bed. But...
What am I going to do with everyone this afternoon? Liam is already tired so I'm thinking skipping naps isn't a possibility, but it's only 10:17 and I'm already wishing for the day to be farther progressed.
I forgot to make sticky buns last night, so we have to do brownies tonight. Maybe I'll take the kids to the grocery store and pick up something for dinner. And strawberry shortcake.
18.6.09
Just Another Thursday Morning
It all started with a bottle.
Exhausted from a late night, early morning and late night feedings in between, I was sleeping on the living room sofa while Lorelei and Liam drank their morning bottles and watched Baby Einstein on TV. I've been giving Lorelei bottles to drink on her own since she was about 8 months old and most of the time she'll drink the whole bottle in one sitting. If she doesn't, she'll find some place to set it down or she'll give it to me. Maybe it was the opportunity given by my unconsciousness or maybe it was all the stimuli from Baby Einstein that gave her this brilliant idea, but whatever it was, Lorelei decided to upend her 8 oz bottle and spray formula all over her brother, my cedar chest, the living room windows, walls, floor and rug.
I woke up because Liam was sitting on the cedar chest fussing because he couldn't get down on his own. The first thing I noticed was Lorelei using her sock to wipe up drops of formula on the floor in front of the TV. The bottles drip a little bit on a regular basis and lately she's started wiping up the drops herself."Aww," I thought. "What a sweet thing to do!" I picked Liam up off of the cedar chest and noticed, mostly through touch, not the bleary eyed sight of my contactless, sleep deprived eyes, that his clothes were damp."Oh, crap!" I thought. "He's spilled formula on himself." Then I really saw the cedar chest.
There was a thin film of formula covering the entire top of the chest and had been there long enough that the finish was becoming cloudy. I could tell that formula had been spilled (or sprayed) and then spread out like someone had tried to wipe it up. Suspecting the worst I looked closer and, sure enough, there were lines of formula droplets all over the window, down the wall and on to the floor.
I looked over at Lorelei who was watching me with guilty interest. One step in her direction and she sat on the floor. "No spanking, no spanking!" Ah. So it WAS her! (Duh.) Still half asleep I wet a hand towel and mopped up as much of the mess as I could and stripped Liam's clothes off. "I'll just sleep till Molly and Maggie wake up and then I'll give him a bath." I thought.
When Molly and Maggie woke up, Liam looked like he was molting. I had no idea just how covered in formula he had been. After getting the girls their breakfast I stacked all the dishes on the counter and put Liam in the sink for a bath. I'm all about kitchen sink baths this summer. It's easier to reach the kids, they're more contained and they really like it, so most baths for the two little ones have been done this way. Anyway - I get him clean and need to go upstairs to put on different clothes (mine are soaked from all the inevitable splashing) and get an outfit for Liam. "Molly, watch him closely and make sure he doesn't fall out." I say and run upstairs.
In the 3 minutes that I'm away, chaos ensues. I come back to find Liam still in the sink, Lorelei on the counter with her feet in the sink and her clothes soaking wet, Molly and Maggie dancing around the kitchen also soaking wet and about and inch of water on my kitchen floor.
Now, you have to understand that I don't get to clean my house very often. My kitchen floor has been neglected of late and so the water was muddy and gritty and it was being splashed up onto my kitchen cabinets. This was the last straw.
"Alright, that's it!" I yelled. "I'm sick and tired of living in dirty, sticky, gritty, grimy filth! And I'm tired of being the only one who cleans up around here! You two are going to SCRUB this floor, do you understand me? And when you're finished you can wipe down the cabinets and the appliances!"
"What!" cried Molly. "I don't want to do that! I hate to clean!"
"I don't care!" I retorted. "Now get busy!"
"You're making us SLAVES in our OWN house?!?" (Molly, who else?)
"She's making us MAIDS, Maggie! Her OWN DAUGHTERS! We're being made SLAVES in our OWN house!"
I guess they realized after a while, though, that I wasn't giving in this time. So they started to clean.
As this discussion was going on I'd taken Liam out of the sink and put on a diaper and stripped Lorelei of her wet clothes, but Liam kept slipping on the wet floor and Lorelei had climbed back up on the counter and in to the sink, so I thought that maybe this would be a way to keep them both out of trouble while I cleaned. So I took off Lorelei's diaper and put her in one sink and I put Liam in the other and started to clean.
First I vacuumed the floors while Molly and Maggie scrubbed up the kitchen floor and wiped down the walls. Then I got my power mop and mopped the kitchen floor. Then I wiped down the table and chairs and moved them out of the dining room and mopped the dining room while the girls wiped surfaces. Then I mopped the rest of the first floor while the Molly cleaned up toys in the living room and Maggie vacuumed.
At this point I walked back into the kitchen and discovered that Liam's sink had been plugged and was full to overflowing and I now had a waterfall and a river in my house. So I mopped up the kitchen floor again. When all the water had been drained, I heard Lorelei saying something about Liam's diaper. Thinking that she had just noticed that he still had one on, I didn't really reply, but then something told me to go look close. Turns out after diapers have been exposed to enough liquid they kind of explode. And I hope the stuff inside is non-toxic, cause I'm pretty sure he ate some. After that mess was cleaned up I made Molly clean the bathroom while I mopped the living room and then sent the older girls upstairs while I got the younger kids dried off and dressed.
At that point it was naptime, so I made bottles (full circle, folks!) and put them to bed and took a shower myself. So it's now almost two. I just had breakfast, but my house is actually CLEAN!!
Exhausted from a late night, early morning and late night feedings in between, I was sleeping on the living room sofa while Lorelei and Liam drank their morning bottles and watched Baby Einstein on TV. I've been giving Lorelei bottles to drink on her own since she was about 8 months old and most of the time she'll drink the whole bottle in one sitting. If she doesn't, she'll find some place to set it down or she'll give it to me. Maybe it was the opportunity given by my unconsciousness or maybe it was all the stimuli from Baby Einstein that gave her this brilliant idea, but whatever it was, Lorelei decided to upend her 8 oz bottle and spray formula all over her brother, my cedar chest, the living room windows, walls, floor and rug.
I woke up because Liam was sitting on the cedar chest fussing because he couldn't get down on his own. The first thing I noticed was Lorelei using her sock to wipe up drops of formula on the floor in front of the TV. The bottles drip a little bit on a regular basis and lately she's started wiping up the drops herself."Aww," I thought. "What a sweet thing to do!" I picked Liam up off of the cedar chest and noticed, mostly through touch, not the bleary eyed sight of my contactless, sleep deprived eyes, that his clothes were damp."Oh, crap!" I thought. "He's spilled formula on himself." Then I really saw the cedar chest.
There was a thin film of formula covering the entire top of the chest and had been there long enough that the finish was becoming cloudy. I could tell that formula had been spilled (or sprayed) and then spread out like someone had tried to wipe it up. Suspecting the worst I looked closer and, sure enough, there were lines of formula droplets all over the window, down the wall and on to the floor.
I looked over at Lorelei who was watching me with guilty interest. One step in her direction and she sat on the floor. "No spanking, no spanking!" Ah. So it WAS her! (Duh.) Still half asleep I wet a hand towel and mopped up as much of the mess as I could and stripped Liam's clothes off. "I'll just sleep till Molly and Maggie wake up and then I'll give him a bath." I thought.
When Molly and Maggie woke up, Liam looked like he was molting. I had no idea just how covered in formula he had been. After getting the girls their breakfast I stacked all the dishes on the counter and put Liam in the sink for a bath. I'm all about kitchen sink baths this summer. It's easier to reach the kids, they're more contained and they really like it, so most baths for the two little ones have been done this way. Anyway - I get him clean and need to go upstairs to put on different clothes (mine are soaked from all the inevitable splashing) and get an outfit for Liam. "Molly, watch him closely and make sure he doesn't fall out." I say and run upstairs.
In the 3 minutes that I'm away, chaos ensues. I come back to find Liam still in the sink, Lorelei on the counter with her feet in the sink and her clothes soaking wet, Molly and Maggie dancing around the kitchen also soaking wet and about and inch of water on my kitchen floor.
Now, you have to understand that I don't get to clean my house very often. My kitchen floor has been neglected of late and so the water was muddy and gritty and it was being splashed up onto my kitchen cabinets. This was the last straw.
"Alright, that's it!" I yelled. "I'm sick and tired of living in dirty, sticky, gritty, grimy filth! And I'm tired of being the only one who cleans up around here! You two are going to SCRUB this floor, do you understand me? And when you're finished you can wipe down the cabinets and the appliances!"
"What!" cried Molly. "I don't want to do that! I hate to clean!"
"I don't care!" I retorted. "Now get busy!"
"You're making us SLAVES in our OWN house?!?" (Molly, who else?)
"She's making us MAIDS, Maggie! Her OWN DAUGHTERS! We're being made SLAVES in our OWN house!"
I guess they realized after a while, though, that I wasn't giving in this time. So they started to clean.
As this discussion was going on I'd taken Liam out of the sink and put on a diaper and stripped Lorelei of her wet clothes, but Liam kept slipping on the wet floor and Lorelei had climbed back up on the counter and in to the sink, so I thought that maybe this would be a way to keep them both out of trouble while I cleaned. So I took off Lorelei's diaper and put her in one sink and I put Liam in the other and started to clean.
First I vacuumed the floors while Molly and Maggie scrubbed up the kitchen floor and wiped down the walls. Then I got my power mop and mopped the kitchen floor. Then I wiped down the table and chairs and moved them out of the dining room and mopped the dining room while the girls wiped surfaces. Then I mopped the rest of the first floor while the Molly cleaned up toys in the living room and Maggie vacuumed.
At this point I walked back into the kitchen and discovered that Liam's sink had been plugged and was full to overflowing and I now had a waterfall and a river in my house. So I mopped up the kitchen floor again. When all the water had been drained, I heard Lorelei saying something about Liam's diaper. Thinking that she had just noticed that he still had one on, I didn't really reply, but then something told me to go look close. Turns out after diapers have been exposed to enough liquid they kind of explode. And I hope the stuff inside is non-toxic, cause I'm pretty sure he ate some. After that mess was cleaned up I made Molly clean the bathroom while I mopped the living room and then sent the older girls upstairs while I got the younger kids dried off and dressed.
At that point it was naptime, so I made bottles (full circle, folks!) and put them to bed and took a shower myself. So it's now almost two. I just had breakfast, but my house is actually CLEAN!!
20.5.09
A picture is worth a thousand words...
Here are some pics of Lorelei and her many adventures.
Lorelei playing with stickers.
Lorelei after eating dirt (and probably catfood, too!).
Lorelie an hour before we were to leave for Va.
Lorelei in her typical outfit after writing on herself with markers.
Lorelei playing with stickers.
Lorelei after eating dirt (and probably catfood, too!).
Lorelie an hour before we were to leave for Va.
Lorelei in her typical outfit after writing on herself with markers.This is the kids, rolling around in and eating sprinkles.
This is Maggie walking through the Cheerios Lorelei dumped all over my kitchen floor.
This is Maggie walking through the Cheerios Lorelei dumped all over my kitchen floor.15.4.09
I feel like I need to say SOMETHING because it's been so long. Life hasn't really been fun around here for a variety of reasons. We've been sick, the kids have been going crazy and Bob and I have been having lots of 'discussions'. So, yeah, I'm pretty much exhausted and stressed. So I'll just tell you some stories about the kids. Mostly Lorelei.
One morning while I was cleaning up the basement, she came upstairs and dumped an entire new Costco sized bag of Cheerios all over the kitchen floor. Then, as Maggie informed me, she skated on them. I am still finding Cheerios in a variety of places and this was two weeks ago.
The next morning while I was doing laundry, she came upstairs and poured an entire gallon of water into an 8 oz glass. Then she knocked the glass over and it broke. I found out something was up when she came downstairs soaking wet. I asked her how she got wet and Maggie said "I know, Mommy, because it's raining down here!". Yes, that's right, all that water had gone through the floor boards and was dripping into the basement.
This morning while I was... ok, ok, I had passed out on the sofa because I was up with Liam, Lorelei and Molly numerous times last night as well as staying up way too late... Lorelei got up on the counter and poured a whole bottle of antacids into a frying pan and then poured a whole container of cinnamon sugar over it. I have no idea if she ate any. Poison control said she could eat 20 or 30 without it having a serious affect, so I guess she'll just be acid reflux free for a while. Anyway, while I was cleaning up that mess, Liam got into the cabinet on the opposite side of the kitchen and spilled a whole container of tiny round sprinkles all over the floor. All the kids dove to consume them and now, hours several vacuumings later, they still have little colored dots all over their feet and stains on their faces.
Some other highlights over the past few weeks: Lorelei got the kitchen scissors out of the drawer and cut open a tea bag and sprinkled the tea leaves all over the floor. She got a hold of a box of tissues while she was in the jonny jump up while I was in the shower and pulled out most of them. She also got the scissors in the basement and cut open a sample of sunscreen and smeared it all over the place. While she was supposed to be napping she took all her clothes off, all the sheets off her bed and pulled all the blankets and lots of clothes out of her dresser. Yesterday she found a container of wipes and pulled most of them out and spread them all over the basement. She got into the older girls desk drawer and took every single paper (we're talking hundreds) out and threw them all over the family room. She regularly will pull entire shelves of books down onto the floor.
In short: Despite living in this house, Lorelei was apparently raised by hyenas and seems to have no inclination to change into a human being.
And just in case you were wondering, most of the time when she's getting into all this trouble, I am NOT sleeping. I'm in some other part of the house doing chores. And she always starts out with me, but she's very quiet and can sneak away and do major damage in a short amount of time. If you don't believe me, offer to babysit sometime.
One morning while I was cleaning up the basement, she came upstairs and dumped an entire new Costco sized bag of Cheerios all over the kitchen floor. Then, as Maggie informed me, she skated on them. I am still finding Cheerios in a variety of places and this was two weeks ago.
The next morning while I was doing laundry, she came upstairs and poured an entire gallon of water into an 8 oz glass. Then she knocked the glass over and it broke. I found out something was up when she came downstairs soaking wet. I asked her how she got wet and Maggie said "I know, Mommy, because it's raining down here!". Yes, that's right, all that water had gone through the floor boards and was dripping into the basement.
This morning while I was... ok, ok, I had passed out on the sofa because I was up with Liam, Lorelei and Molly numerous times last night as well as staying up way too late... Lorelei got up on the counter and poured a whole bottle of antacids into a frying pan and then poured a whole container of cinnamon sugar over it. I have no idea if she ate any. Poison control said she could eat 20 or 30 without it having a serious affect, so I guess she'll just be acid reflux free for a while. Anyway, while I was cleaning up that mess, Liam got into the cabinet on the opposite side of the kitchen and spilled a whole container of tiny round sprinkles all over the floor. All the kids dove to consume them and now, hours several vacuumings later, they still have little colored dots all over their feet and stains on their faces.
Some other highlights over the past few weeks: Lorelei got the kitchen scissors out of the drawer and cut open a tea bag and sprinkled the tea leaves all over the floor. She got a hold of a box of tissues while she was in the jonny jump up while I was in the shower and pulled out most of them. She also got the scissors in the basement and cut open a sample of sunscreen and smeared it all over the place. While she was supposed to be napping she took all her clothes off, all the sheets off her bed and pulled all the blankets and lots of clothes out of her dresser. Yesterday she found a container of wipes and pulled most of them out and spread them all over the basement. She got into the older girls desk drawer and took every single paper (we're talking hundreds) out and threw them all over the family room. She regularly will pull entire shelves of books down onto the floor.
In short: Despite living in this house, Lorelei was apparently raised by hyenas and seems to have no inclination to change into a human being.
And just in case you were wondering, most of the time when she's getting into all this trouble, I am NOT sleeping. I'm in some other part of the house doing chores. And she always starts out with me, but she's very quiet and can sneak away and do major damage in a short amount of time. If you don't believe me, offer to babysit sometime.
26.3.09
Rainy, rainy day
I feel like today is taking forever. I was up and out of the house (drs appt) by 8:30 this morning and, though I feel like I've been moving non stop since I got home, I have nothing to show for it. I've made 5 separate meals, only one of which was for me. I've 'washed' my dishes, but my sink is still full and my counters are still messy and there's still stuff on the dining room table. There're mounds of dirty laundry in various places in my house. And there are toys all over the place, despite the fact that I've picked up several times every day this week. I just don't get how my house can be perfect but it only lasts two seconds. It's seriously like it explodes.
I'm so tired. I could fall asleep sitting here...
I'm so tired. I could fall asleep sitting here...
21.3.09
The two little kiddos are sleeping and the two older kiddos are running around downstairs playing happily (for the moment). One of their favorite things to do is to have me print out coloring pages of animals and they make up stories about them while they color them. They can do this for hours. They continue the stories after they're done coloring and usually end up having a whole afternoon and evening of pretend play with their coloring pages. Eventually they end up asking me to staple the pages together into a book and then the book gets filed along with all their previous books. Most of the time their animals names are Lisa - or some variation of that theme. Today they were both perplexed by the odd dressing behaviors of their animals and decided that they needed to talk to the doctor about it since it might mean something was wrong. They had been sending each other to get the answers until I explained about HIPAA and then they gave each other written permission to share information before they went to the doctors. It's quite amusing.
17.3.09
I could get used to sitting here on the sofa blogging. It feels a little more like a 'real' journal, although I'm still aware of the public nature of an online blog. I'm out of practice with real journaling. I talk to people a lot more than I used to. I'm not sure I like the transient nature of a conversation as much as the physical record of a journal, except for one thing: while I like going back over my thoughts and conversations, they can be used against me. By nature my blogs are brain dumps and my journals are raw emotions, unprocessed, uncensored, untempered by time or good sense. I realize that and find it amusing later on, but not everyone does.
In other news, I have a ringing in my left ear that happens every time my kids talk. I swear I am not making this up. Last night it was doing it every time I would talk or hear any noise. Today is seems attuned to my kids' particular frequency. It's very annoying. As if hearing them whine wasn't annoying enough...
Liam is asleep at the moment. He woke up at 6 and I put him back to bed at 7 after he'd spent most of that hour crying. I'm not sure why he didn't just go back to sleep at 6 when I gave him a bottle and rocked him, but he didn't. And so Lorelei got woken up by his tantrums and then neither of them would let me lay on the sofa, so I feel like I've been up for a long time.
I saw robins in the backyard this morning and heard birds singing outside the bathroom window this morning. It gives me hope that there will actually be warm, sunny days ahead. I can't wait to be able to have bare feet and not freeze. (Actually, I freeze even when I do wear socks these days, so it will be nice just to be warm without layer upon layer of clothes and blankets. At night I sleep with a heating pad under me just so I'm not cold.)
I dyed my hair last night. 'Deep chocolate brown' I like it. The actual color didn't change all that much, but it looks richer and shinier. Hopefully it will last for a little while. I really hate my hair cut with a passion, though, so my hair can only look 1/2 decent. I messed with it for a while last night and there's no getting around it: I look like a soccer mom and I hate it! I can't wait for it to grow out again! I've decided that I'm going to let it get at least a little past shoulder length before I get it even trimmed again. At that point my nasty little bangs should be just long enough to tuck behind my ears.
Lorelei is a cranky butt today. She's usually a pretty whiny kid, but lately it's been over the top. She just doesn't seem to get the concept of asking nicely for something. No matter how many times I tell her, her first mode of communication is to whine.
Ug. Off to do misc things. Maybe. If I can get my butt off the sofa.
In other news, I have a ringing in my left ear that happens every time my kids talk. I swear I am not making this up. Last night it was doing it every time I would talk or hear any noise. Today is seems attuned to my kids' particular frequency. It's very annoying. As if hearing them whine wasn't annoying enough...
Liam is asleep at the moment. He woke up at 6 and I put him back to bed at 7 after he'd spent most of that hour crying. I'm not sure why he didn't just go back to sleep at 6 when I gave him a bottle and rocked him, but he didn't. And so Lorelei got woken up by his tantrums and then neither of them would let me lay on the sofa, so I feel like I've been up for a long time.
I saw robins in the backyard this morning and heard birds singing outside the bathroom window this morning. It gives me hope that there will actually be warm, sunny days ahead. I can't wait to be able to have bare feet and not freeze. (Actually, I freeze even when I do wear socks these days, so it will be nice just to be warm without layer upon layer of clothes and blankets. At night I sleep with a heating pad under me just so I'm not cold.)
I dyed my hair last night. 'Deep chocolate brown' I like it. The actual color didn't change all that much, but it looks richer and shinier. Hopefully it will last for a little while. I really hate my hair cut with a passion, though, so my hair can only look 1/2 decent. I messed with it for a while last night and there's no getting around it: I look like a soccer mom and I hate it! I can't wait for it to grow out again! I've decided that I'm going to let it get at least a little past shoulder length before I get it even trimmed again. At that point my nasty little bangs should be just long enough to tuck behind my ears.
Lorelei is a cranky butt today. She's usually a pretty whiny kid, but lately it's been over the top. She just doesn't seem to get the concept of asking nicely for something. No matter how many times I tell her, her first mode of communication is to whine.
Ug. Off to do misc things. Maybe. If I can get my butt off the sofa.
16.3.09
Ok, so this is just going to confirm how schizophrenic I really am, but I changed my email to brweiman@gmail.com and she feels like a very different person than beccarose@hotmail.com. I'm almost embarrassed to write it because it sounds so silly. Do they seem to represent different types of people to you?
Newness and Oldness
There are a lot of new things in our house lately. A lot of changes too. For the most part I like them all. The most recent is my laptop - from which I am typing right now. The keyboard takes a little getting used to, but it's not too bad. It's a lot nicer than my old one and the best part is, I'm not remote desktopping into AM, so everything goes faster. JJ feels like MY computer instead of a way to get to my computer. Maybe, eventually, I'll even take her into the living room instead of sitting at the school table all the time. :)
I have some fun things I could be doing. We bought some decorations for Liam's room and I FINALLY got mats for my photos (although I already put most of those up). There's also general house cleaning/straightening that could be done, but I'm exhausted today, despite already taking my supplements and eating breakfast and being 1/2 way done with my 'energy' drink. I just can't get moving. Last night sucked. The only kid that didn't get up at least once was Maggie. I was in once with Lorelei, once with Molly and twice with Liam. Bob was up with Lorelei and Liam and Molly at least once each. I'm not really sure why we bothered to go to sleep, especially since it was well after midnight when we finally tried.
Liam is standing next to me fussing. He's been doing that on and off all morning. I think he must be teething again. He's chewing on his blanket more than usual.
*took a break to put up some decorations*
Now Lorelei and Liam are fussing... it's too early for naps, otherwise I'd put them both down. I don't know what Lorelei's problem is today (everyday). She's just so cranky. It doesn't seem to matter what I'm doing. You'd think that Monday's wouldn't be so bad. Especially since I got some major breaks yesterday. But the breaks just aren't long enough. I'm so tired these days, even though I'm not nearly as tired (or in pain) as I used to be. It's still enough to wear my patience thin and make my brain dead.
I have decided that I love JJ and her pretty mouse! :)
I have some fun things I could be doing. We bought some decorations for Liam's room and I FINALLY got mats for my photos (although I already put most of those up). There's also general house cleaning/straightening that could be done, but I'm exhausted today, despite already taking my supplements and eating breakfast and being 1/2 way done with my 'energy' drink. I just can't get moving. Last night sucked. The only kid that didn't get up at least once was Maggie. I was in once with Lorelei, once with Molly and twice with Liam. Bob was up with Lorelei and Liam and Molly at least once each. I'm not really sure why we bothered to go to sleep, especially since it was well after midnight when we finally tried.
Liam is standing next to me fussing. He's been doing that on and off all morning. I think he must be teething again. He's chewing on his blanket more than usual.
*took a break to put up some decorations*
Now Lorelei and Liam are fussing... it's too early for naps, otherwise I'd put them both down. I don't know what Lorelei's problem is today (everyday). She's just so cranky. It doesn't seem to matter what I'm doing. You'd think that Monday's wouldn't be so bad. Especially since I got some major breaks yesterday. But the breaks just aren't long enough. I'm so tired these days, even though I'm not nearly as tired (or in pain) as I used to be. It's still enough to wear my patience thin and make my brain dead.
I have decided that I love JJ and her pretty mouse! :)
10.3.09
I'm sort of getting used to the rolling laundry model as opposed to the completed job model. (This can also be applied to straightening, cleaning, dishes, ect, although I'm less comfortable with it in those situations - with the exception of cleaning, but there I have no choice.) One of the reasons I always had a ton of laundry stock piled before I'd do it is that I knew I'd never have a chance to complete the job so I'd never even start. Stupid, I know, since it would just accumulate in to more time to be spent...
All's quiet for the moment. While I generally consider blogging to more in the 'waste of time' category, it's more productive than playing computer games, so I'm blogging. I finally got dishes done after two days of looking at them. I'm working on laundry (still, perpetually). It'd be nice if I could muster up the energy to straighten up the house in general, but I'm not seeing that happening. Too many late nights are really catching up to me. Besides that, Liam is already down for a nap - way too early for Lorelei, so there will probably not be a lot of overlap in their sleeping times today.
I've been trying to get Molly to focus on school all morning. While she's gotten some work done, she's been bouncing off the walls the whole time. She's got at least one math, one grammar and a spelling lesson that I'd like her to finish before the end of the day, but I'm done fighting with her for the moment. It just wears me down.
I think I want to get rid of the chair in the family room. It's ugly and uncomfy and I need the space. It'd be really nice if there were a door to the closet so I didn't have to worry about needing something to block the space, but if I take the bin shelf down from Maggie's room (to make room for her toddler bed) it can go there.
My kids are asking for food (still, perpetually). ttfn.
I've been trying to get Molly to focus on school all morning. While she's gotten some work done, she's been bouncing off the walls the whole time. She's got at least one math, one grammar and a spelling lesson that I'd like her to finish before the end of the day, but I'm done fighting with her for the moment. It just wears me down.
I think I want to get rid of the chair in the family room. It's ugly and uncomfy and I need the space. It'd be really nice if there were a door to the closet so I didn't have to worry about needing something to block the space, but if I take the bin shelf down from Maggie's room (to make room for her toddler bed) it can go there.
My kids are asking for food (still, perpetually). ttfn.
26.2.09
Since I increased my Lyrica dosage again, I've been sleeping more deeply. This morning Bob got up with both the little kids and I had no idea they were even awake. The more I think about it, I think I remember him saying something to me after he got Liam, but I didn't hear the kids cry or anything. I got up once with Liam last night. I think Bob was already in with Lorelei at the time. I don't know why I heard him then and no other time. I love not being in pain, but the Lyrica seems to be affecting me more this time around. (I had actually completely stopped taking it for 3 weeks, but things were starting to get bad again.) Last time I didn't have any of the dizziness or spaceyness, although I do kinda remember it making me sleep deeper. This time, though, I'm dizzy most of the time and really spacey in the afternoons and I fall asleep as soon as I'm in bed and don't really wake up until morning. I feel really bad about that, since it means Bob is getting up with the kids. Lorelei got up a lot last night (probably because we didn't give her dinner last night). Liam was up a few times too.
I'm wondering if Liam might have an ear infection or a sinus infection. He got the cold that went around - he was actually the first one - a couple of weeks ago, but he's still more congested than ever and the rest of us are pretty much over it. They have well baby check ups next Tuesday, but I don't want to wait that long if he's really sick. At least I don't feel quite as pressured to make a decision by Friday since I know we can always take him to the clinic over the weekend.
It's supposed to be in the 50s today, but it's supposed to be kinda rainy. I wanted to open the house, but if it's rainy and only 50 I think it will be too cold. Darn it! This house is stale and stinky. The 10 day forecast doesn't look great. It's supposed to snow March 1st and it's supposed to be chilly too. I want to move down south!! I can't wait until spring really arrives! I think I'll put up my morning glories, though. I never did put up the winter garland this year. It looks quite bare. Maybe the morning glories will cheer me up. They're getting kinda ratty, though. I should probably look into something new. At the very least I need to come up with a way to wash them.
I'm getting a new stove tomorrow (YAY!!!) so I really need to mop the floors today and scrub around the kitchen baseboards. Bob said he'd move the old stove out before they came so I could wash underneath it, since i'm sure it's really disgusting under there. I'll probably have to wipe down the walls and the sides of the cupboards too.
I want to go out shopping. I still haven't gotten the mats for my pictures and the kids' have gc to Five Below that are burning a hole in my wallet. I really need to write thank you cards as well. I still haven't sent anything out for Christmas!! I used to be so good at all that stuff. I'd have notes out the next day. We on to two months now. I am a bad person!
Laundry has piled up again as well. I got down to about 3 loads of bedding to do last time and crapped out. I haven't done laundry in a week now. Although, I have to say, in general the house is in better order overall than it usually is. It's really hard for me to straighten/clean piecemeal, but it does have a cumulative affect after a while.
Lorelei has started talking an amazing amount. She's very understandable most of the time now and speaks in complete sentences most of the time too. I love this time in development. It's like all of a sudden you get to see what this little person has been thinking about for the past two years, the way her brain works.
Liam is getting very close to walking. I think it's just a matter of wanting to at this point. He knows it's something he can toy me with, since I've made a really big deal about the few steps he's taken on his own. He'll be walking by spring, that's for sure. Maybe in the next couple of weeks. I can't believe my baby boy is a year old! (technically sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning) He's gotten so big and his face has changed into a little boys and his hair is starting to fill out and he understands so much. He's so playful now - he'll play peek a boo and he stands on his head and claps - he LOVES music! I love him so much sometimes it feels like my heart will burst. (Real cliche, I know, but it's the way I feel!)
We got the bedrooms moved and the only thing I have left to do is move some of the wall decor around. I told the girls I'd do that on Friday since Bob will have off and he can watch the little ones while I do it. I also have a doctor's appointment Friday and I think I'm going to get my hair cut. Oh, that reminds me! I need to find a picture! :)
Liam just knocked over a lamp in the living room and broke the bulb and the shade. Grr... it never ends!
I'm wondering if Liam might have an ear infection or a sinus infection. He got the cold that went around - he was actually the first one - a couple of weeks ago, but he's still more congested than ever and the rest of us are pretty much over it. They have well baby check ups next Tuesday, but I don't want to wait that long if he's really sick. At least I don't feel quite as pressured to make a decision by Friday since I know we can always take him to the clinic over the weekend.
It's supposed to be in the 50s today, but it's supposed to be kinda rainy. I wanted to open the house, but if it's rainy and only 50 I think it will be too cold. Darn it! This house is stale and stinky. The 10 day forecast doesn't look great. It's supposed to snow March 1st and it's supposed to be chilly too. I want to move down south!! I can't wait until spring really arrives! I think I'll put up my morning glories, though. I never did put up the winter garland this year. It looks quite bare. Maybe the morning glories will cheer me up. They're getting kinda ratty, though. I should probably look into something new. At the very least I need to come up with a way to wash them.
I'm getting a new stove tomorrow (YAY!!!) so I really need to mop the floors today and scrub around the kitchen baseboards. Bob said he'd move the old stove out before they came so I could wash underneath it, since i'm sure it's really disgusting under there. I'll probably have to wipe down the walls and the sides of the cupboards too.
I want to go out shopping. I still haven't gotten the mats for my pictures and the kids' have gc to Five Below that are burning a hole in my wallet. I really need to write thank you cards as well. I still haven't sent anything out for Christmas!! I used to be so good at all that stuff. I'd have notes out the next day. We on to two months now. I am a bad person!
Laundry has piled up again as well. I got down to about 3 loads of bedding to do last time and crapped out. I haven't done laundry in a week now. Although, I have to say, in general the house is in better order overall than it usually is. It's really hard for me to straighten/clean piecemeal, but it does have a cumulative affect after a while.
Lorelei has started talking an amazing amount. She's very understandable most of the time now and speaks in complete sentences most of the time too. I love this time in development. It's like all of a sudden you get to see what this little person has been thinking about for the past two years, the way her brain works.
Liam is getting very close to walking. I think it's just a matter of wanting to at this point. He knows it's something he can toy me with, since I've made a really big deal about the few steps he's taken on his own. He'll be walking by spring, that's for sure. Maybe in the next couple of weeks. I can't believe my baby boy is a year old! (technically sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning) He's gotten so big and his face has changed into a little boys and his hair is starting to fill out and he understands so much. He's so playful now - he'll play peek a boo and he stands on his head and claps - he LOVES music! I love him so much sometimes it feels like my heart will burst. (Real cliche, I know, but it's the way I feel!)
We got the bedrooms moved and the only thing I have left to do is move some of the wall decor around. I told the girls I'd do that on Friday since Bob will have off and he can watch the little ones while I do it. I also have a doctor's appointment Friday and I think I'm going to get my hair cut. Oh, that reminds me! I need to find a picture! :)
Liam just knocked over a lamp in the living room and broke the bulb and the shade. Grr... it never ends!
25.2.09
So, it turns out that if I drink enough tea (that being about 4 mugs full) the caffeine has the same affect on me as any other caffeinated drink. Aaand it doesn't give me nearly the energy jolt. And it makes me pee a lot. So maybe next time I'll just go for a cup of coffee. It sucks that I'm so sensitive to caffeine since I never get enough sleep and am, therefore, always tired. I wish I could do something (other than sleep, since that doesn't seem to be an option these days) to give me energy without the negative side affects. I hate being paranoid and anxious. I worry about everything anyway, I don't need something to heighten that issue.
I really should be doing dishes right now. Both little ones are in bed. Molly is at dance. Maggie is happily painting. I'm free to do just about anything around the house. Dishes definitely need attention and I'd be standing in the sun, which is always good for my mood. But I'm journaling.
I bought Liam a whole bunch of clothes today. He's busting out of his 12 month stuff. I was hoping to make it through the cold without having to supplement his wardrobe, but, no such luck. I also bought some kitty litter and baking soda to (hopefully) get rid of the melamine smell in his room (caused by his wardrobe). It's a little overwhelming and I think it's making him congested.
Maybe I'll paint with Mags. :)
I really should be doing dishes right now. Both little ones are in bed. Molly is at dance. Maggie is happily painting. I'm free to do just about anything around the house. Dishes definitely need attention and I'd be standing in the sun, which is always good for my mood. But I'm journaling.
I bought Liam a whole bunch of clothes today. He's busting out of his 12 month stuff. I was hoping to make it through the cold without having to supplement his wardrobe, but, no such luck. I also bought some kitty litter and baking soda to (hopefully) get rid of the melamine smell in his room (caused by his wardrobe). It's a little overwhelming and I think it's making him congested.
Maybe I'll paint with Mags. :)
23.2.09
Friday my house was all cleaned up. It looked beautious. It wasn't really CLEAN but it was neat and the floors were vacuumed. Not so much now. I don't understand how, in two days time, it can go from that to this. We did a lot of reorganizing this weekend, so the laundry room and our bedroom are understandable, I guess. It's just so frustrating!!
Actually, if I just went ahead and did the dishes, I'd probably feel a lot better about everything. I'm so tired right now, I can hardly think straight.
Watching Molly's face while she plays computer games is funny. I ought to take a picture.
Right now Lorelei is sleeping and Maggie is in her new room and is supposed to be taking a nap. I think I hear her on the stairs, though. Grr. I wish Liam were asleep. I might take a nap.
Ug. I need to go do something.
Actually, if I just went ahead and did the dishes, I'd probably feel a lot better about everything. I'm so tired right now, I can hardly think straight.
Watching Molly's face while she plays computer games is funny. I ought to take a picture.
Right now Lorelei is sleeping and Maggie is in her new room and is supposed to be taking a nap. I think I hear her on the stairs, though. Grr. I wish Liam were asleep. I might take a nap.
Ug. I need to go do something.
17.2.09
I feel like it's a bad sign when your daughter asks you for a pickle and you start crying. Not that the pickle had any significance. I feel very demanded of these days and it's starting to get to me. I hop from kid to kid, task to task and fight for every ounce of me time I get - and then pay for it to boot. My focus is gone. I can still see all the things around me that are wrong, but I have no real motivation to change them. Just a nagging sensation in the back of my brain. I don't even know if I see all the things I used to. I'm so used to things being out of order now. It scares me.
16.2.09
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me.
Ok, so maybe it's not all that dramatic, but I woke up full of energy today and was in much less pain than I have been for the last few days. And I've been in a really good mood all day. It's a little strange.
I hung out with a friend all morning, got the dishes done, got some laundry done, changed my profile pics, which isn't a big deal for most people, but really is for me, banished my girls to outside even though it's freezing cold and their poor little hands are all red and cold. (J/K, I didn't banish them, they wanted to go out and I was getting tired of listening to the whining, so now all is quiet. I just hope they don't get sick or frostbite or something.) Liam is watching a movie. I'm listening to music that does not include Veggie Tales, Wee Sing or SkippyJonJones. :)
Ok, so maybe it's not all that dramatic, but I woke up full of energy today and was in much less pain than I have been for the last few days. And I've been in a really good mood all day. It's a little strange.
I hung out with a friend all morning, got the dishes done, got some laundry done, changed my profile pics, which isn't a big deal for most people, but really is for me, banished my girls to outside even though it's freezing cold and their poor little hands are all red and cold. (J/K, I didn't banish them, they wanted to go out and I was getting tired of listening to the whining, so now all is quiet. I just hope they don't get sick or frostbite or something.) Liam is watching a movie. I'm listening to music that does not include Veggie Tales, Wee Sing or SkippyJonJones. :)
10.2.09
Molly has tons of school to catch up on, so I'll have lots of time to write today.The kids are sick (just a cold) in various stages. They're pretty whiney as a result. Liam and Lorelei haven't been sleeping well, so they're extra cranky. And since Lorelei is a crank all the time anyway that puts her at cranky x 3. Joy of all joys.
On the plus side, I had an extra burst of energy at midnight last night so my first floor is pretty well cleaned up (it was totally cleaned up until the kids came down) and my dishes are done and the dishwasher is empty! :) It'd be really nice if I could have the same burst of energy at some point this week for the rest of the house. Beth is taking the kids on Friday so I'll be able to clean, if I don't have to straighten first.
I miss writing by hand. I pretty much can't do it at all anymore. It hurts too much and I don't have enough control over the pen. There are days when any fine motor movement is really difficult, but something like writing is a problem almost all the time. But I miss taking pen to paper and having a more intimate conversation with myself. There are things these days that I wouldn't commit to paper. I used to be able to write down anything and everything, but it seems dangerous now. I wouldn't want to hurt my kids (or anyone else) later on.
I'm so cold. I hate being cold. It makes me want to hibernate. I have no energy for anything when I'm cold. It's all going to keep my internal organs alive. It will be interesting to see what this summer is like. How long it takes for me to want to put the air conditioning in. Usually it happens sometime around Memorial Day. Right now I can't imagine anything nicer than an 85 degree day!
I think today is going to be a long school day. Molly doesn't seem very focused. We HAVE to get everything done that I have scheduled out for this week. I can't stand being behind anymore. She really needs to work on her memorized addition and subtraction. She's been guessing a lot instead of taking the time to figure it out. She understands the concepts perfectly but she doesn't have her facts memorized.
I can't handle today. The kids are in rare form and I just didn't get enough sleep last night to deal with it.
On the plus side, I had an extra burst of energy at midnight last night so my first floor is pretty well cleaned up (it was totally cleaned up until the kids came down) and my dishes are done and the dishwasher is empty! :) It'd be really nice if I could have the same burst of energy at some point this week for the rest of the house. Beth is taking the kids on Friday so I'll be able to clean, if I don't have to straighten first.
I miss writing by hand. I pretty much can't do it at all anymore. It hurts too much and I don't have enough control over the pen. There are days when any fine motor movement is really difficult, but something like writing is a problem almost all the time. But I miss taking pen to paper and having a more intimate conversation with myself. There are things these days that I wouldn't commit to paper. I used to be able to write down anything and everything, but it seems dangerous now. I wouldn't want to hurt my kids (or anyone else) later on.
I'm so cold. I hate being cold. It makes me want to hibernate. I have no energy for anything when I'm cold. It's all going to keep my internal organs alive. It will be interesting to see what this summer is like. How long it takes for me to want to put the air conditioning in. Usually it happens sometime around Memorial Day. Right now I can't imagine anything nicer than an 85 degree day!
I think today is going to be a long school day. Molly doesn't seem very focused. We HAVE to get everything done that I have scheduled out for this week. I can't stand being behind anymore. She really needs to work on her memorized addition and subtraction. She's been guessing a lot instead of taking the time to figure it out. She understands the concepts perfectly but she doesn't have her facts memorized.
I can't handle today. The kids are in rare form and I just didn't get enough sleep last night to deal with it.
6.2.09
It's been a while again. Molly's had her 6th birthday. Maggie's 4th is tomorrow. Bob's grandma died last night and the funeral is Sunday. Ella's 3rd birthday party is tomorrow. My house is still a huge mess, but Beth is watching the kids on Friday so hopefully between now and then I can get a bunch of things done. We have game night tonight. Dawn is coming over. Steven is coming over. I am still feeling as lazy as usual. Molly and Maggie are outside playing. Lorelei and Liam are supposed to be sleeping. Lorelei is still awake. I really hope all the kids will go to bed early tonight. As usual, lately, I don't feel like I have the ability to cope with them. Tomorrow is supposed to be 50 degrees! I can pray! :) I think this coming week is going to be relatively quiet, which would be really nice. And sometime soon I'm going out to buy make up. And an eyelash curler.
30.1.09
Ug (again). I have a ton to do today and as much motivation to do it as I did yesterday. Which is none.
1. Change the sheets on our bed and Maggie's bed.
2. Straighten the rooms and dust the furniture.
3. Clean the bathrooms; WASH THE CURTAINS.
4. Vacuum the floors.
5. Pack Molly and Maggie.
- bunny/teddy/silkie
- sleeping bags/pillows
- Hush Little Baby Book
- Zone Bars
- tooth brushes
- meds
- pjs/clothes
- dress up clothes
6. Write instructions for Liam and Lorelei.
7. Take out carseats.
8. Dishes.
9. Pack Bob and Becky.
10. Make chicken casserole and freeze it.
Blah. Blah. Blah. In my original plan, most of this would be done already because I would have had yesterday to do it. *sigh* Guess I should get started.
1. Change the sheets on our bed and Maggie's bed.
2. Straighten the rooms and dust the furniture.
3. Clean the bathrooms; WASH THE CURTAINS.
4. Vacuum the floors.
5. Pack Molly and Maggie.
- bunny/teddy/silkie
- sleeping bags/pillows
- Hush Little Baby Book
- Zone Bars
- tooth brushes
- meds
- pjs/clothes
- dress up clothes
6. Write instructions for Liam and Lorelei.
7. Take out carseats.
8. Dishes.
9. Pack Bob and Becky.
10. Make chicken casserole and freeze it.
Blah. Blah. Blah. In my original plan, most of this would be done already because I would have had yesterday to do it. *sigh* Guess I should get started.
29.1.09
Today has basically been a big ol' waste of time. I got some laundry done, but that's about it. I just don't have any energy.
I'm really hoping the weekend goes off as planned. You can't tell there was anything wrong with my kids based on their behavior today. They're fighting as usual, King Friday.
I'm feeling very disconnected from the world today, even though I've gotten a lot of birthday wishes via facebook and some via phone. I still feel like I haven't made contact, though. Maybe because I'm so tired.
When did I start settling for less than best and deciding that whatever was good enough? I used to push through however I was feeling to accomplish what I though needed to be accomplished. Now I do whatever, if I feel like it and figure I and whoever else can deal with whatever is left. To be fair, I've been sick and I have my kids today, but still, the house will not be anywhere near the condition I wanted it to be in for the weekend. Who knows - that still might not happen. As it is, we'll be coming home earlier on Sunday. Maybe the getaway in September will be less eventful!
Liam is really starting to get into stuff - he's all over the place these days. Lorelei is really tired right now - screaming about everything, but it's already 3:15 and if she goes down now, she won't go to bed until late. I really like it when the kids are in bed before 8. The other night, when Bob was sick, all of them were in bed asleep by 20 of 7 - it was great! I didn't even know what to do with myself!
ttfn - I need something to drink.
I'm really hoping the weekend goes off as planned. You can't tell there was anything wrong with my kids based on their behavior today. They're fighting as usual, King Friday.
I'm feeling very disconnected from the world today, even though I've gotten a lot of birthday wishes via facebook and some via phone. I still feel like I haven't made contact, though. Maybe because I'm so tired.
When did I start settling for less than best and deciding that whatever was good enough? I used to push through however I was feeling to accomplish what I though needed to be accomplished. Now I do whatever, if I feel like it and figure I and whoever else can deal with whatever is left. To be fair, I've been sick and I have my kids today, but still, the house will not be anywhere near the condition I wanted it to be in for the weekend. Who knows - that still might not happen. As it is, we'll be coming home earlier on Sunday. Maybe the getaway in September will be less eventful!
Liam is really starting to get into stuff - he's all over the place these days. Lorelei is really tired right now - screaming about everything, but it's already 3:15 and if she goes down now, she won't go to bed until late. I really like it when the kids are in bed before 8. The other night, when Bob was sick, all of them were in bed asleep by 20 of 7 - it was great! I didn't even know what to do with myself!
ttfn - I need something to drink.
Today is my birthday
Ug. This week has been a horrible week. Sunday night at 6 pm Maggie threw up and the throwing up didn't stop until yesterday (I hope) and until everyone had done it. In order of sickness it was: Molly, Maggie, Bob, Lorelei, Liam, me. I was glad to be on the low end of things. I'm still pretty tired, though, and not really feeling the best.
Everything on our calendar was canceled, up through today (except for the appointment with North Forge, whom I really hope got the part in and can fix our fireplace this afternoon). I went ahead and canceled with Beth last night because I just couldn't justify taking the kids out today, even though I would love the day alone. There's no way I'm going to get all the stuff done that I wanted to get done today - I'm starting at a deficit as it is, since we've been in survival mode since Sunday night. So I'll be lucky if I get the kitchen cleaned up and any general straightening done. It'll be a miracle if I get the laundry finished. The bathrooms, on the other hand, are all fairly clean, thanks to my sanitation mode going into overdrive both when the plague first hit and the day I was forced to be better (after Bob had gotten sick). I still feel like the house is full of germs and bad smells, though.
I haven't abided by the diet at all this past week. I didn't eat anything most of Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday I ate some English muffins, but they made me feel sick. This morning I had oatmeal and milk and it seems to be doing better. I'm still SO tired, though. I just want to go back to bed. And I won't be able to nap this afternoon 'cause the NF guy will be here. :(
The kids have been pretty mellow this week (obviously, Molly was nearly taken to the hospital for dehydration) but this morning they seem to be back in the full swing of things, which makes me regret cancelling Beth. I'm still not sure how they actually are, though, so it's for the best.
Today is my birthday. I am 31. I feel old. And tired. In my mind (when I can use it) I'm not that old, but every time I think about the number I just feel everything shut down. I didn't think age was something that would affect me so badly, but I felt it when I turned 27 - no longer in my mid 20's, but in my late 20's. I still feel like there's so much more that I could have done when I was young. And, yes, technically speaking I am still young. I probably have at least another 50ish years to live - which means I haven't even lived 1/2 my life, but still - 30, not to mention 31, just feels old to me.
What lovely sounds on my birthday - my kids in the living room, screaming and yelling at each other. I wonder if I reminded them that it is my birthday if they'd stop. Probably not.
Everything on our calendar was canceled, up through today (except for the appointment with North Forge, whom I really hope got the part in and can fix our fireplace this afternoon). I went ahead and canceled with Beth last night because I just couldn't justify taking the kids out today, even though I would love the day alone. There's no way I'm going to get all the stuff done that I wanted to get done today - I'm starting at a deficit as it is, since we've been in survival mode since Sunday night. So I'll be lucky if I get the kitchen cleaned up and any general straightening done. It'll be a miracle if I get the laundry finished. The bathrooms, on the other hand, are all fairly clean, thanks to my sanitation mode going into overdrive both when the plague first hit and the day I was forced to be better (after Bob had gotten sick). I still feel like the house is full of germs and bad smells, though.
I haven't abided by the diet at all this past week. I didn't eat anything most of Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday I ate some English muffins, but they made me feel sick. This morning I had oatmeal and milk and it seems to be doing better. I'm still SO tired, though. I just want to go back to bed. And I won't be able to nap this afternoon 'cause the NF guy will be here. :(
The kids have been pretty mellow this week (obviously, Molly was nearly taken to the hospital for dehydration) but this morning they seem to be back in the full swing of things, which makes me regret cancelling Beth. I'm still not sure how they actually are, though, so it's for the best.
Today is my birthday. I am 31. I feel old. And tired. In my mind (when I can use it) I'm not that old, but every time I think about the number I just feel everything shut down. I didn't think age was something that would affect me so badly, but I felt it when I turned 27 - no longer in my mid 20's, but in my late 20's. I still feel like there's so much more that I could have done when I was young. And, yes, technically speaking I am still young. I probably have at least another 50ish years to live - which means I haven't even lived 1/2 my life, but still - 30, not to mention 31, just feels old to me.
What lovely sounds on my birthday - my kids in the living room, screaming and yelling at each other. I wonder if I reminded them that it is my birthday if they'd stop. Probably not.
23.1.09
So, it's been a while. The nice thing about having kids is that, while sometimes the days might seem long, overall, time flies. It's already the end of January!! Just one more week. And we'll have only about 2 more months of winter!! It still really bugs me that in Pa March (and sometimes April!) are still winter. Down south when March hits, it gets warm. Like it's supposed to. We've lived up here for over 20 years and I still can't get it out of my head that March is spring. Except, up here, it's not. Anyway, I can't wait for it to get warm!!
Only one more week and Bob and I will have our weekend away!! I am SO excited, I can't even tell you. I just pray that no one gets sick! I'm trying really hard to be prepared for that, but if something happens I will be SO disappointed. Not that we couldn't reschedule, it's just that it's hard to coordinate so many schedules.
I got more sleep last night than usual, but I still feel crappy. I think I might be fighting something. My face hurts - like a sinus infection or something. I'm still paranoid about getting this stomach virus that's going around. From what I've heard, it's just a 24 hour thing, but still. I wonder if I'll ever get over my phobia of throwing up? I'm very desensitized, at least compared to what I used to be, but I still just almost panic inside at the thought of someone (especially me!) throwing up!
Oh, I forgot - I need to go start a load of laundry... ok, that's better. Liam was down to one blanket because his other two smelled like pee.
So far we've remained caught up on Molly's school. The second marking period is officially over! :) Hopefully her grades will remain good. I think they are, but it's hard for me to keep track over all. I know there have been a few things that she just wasn't paying attention with. I suppose I could make her do things over, but it doesn't seem honest to me. She wouldn't get that chance in a regular school. (Besides that, I'm too lazy to fight that fight.) In a way, I'm not that concerned with her grades because I know she knows stuff. But I still want her to be able to be recognized for that knowledge.
Liam is screeching. Got to go.
Only one more week and Bob and I will have our weekend away!! I am SO excited, I can't even tell you. I just pray that no one gets sick! I'm trying really hard to be prepared for that, but if something happens I will be SO disappointed. Not that we couldn't reschedule, it's just that it's hard to coordinate so many schedules.
I got more sleep last night than usual, but I still feel crappy. I think I might be fighting something. My face hurts - like a sinus infection or something. I'm still paranoid about getting this stomach virus that's going around. From what I've heard, it's just a 24 hour thing, but still. I wonder if I'll ever get over my phobia of throwing up? I'm very desensitized, at least compared to what I used to be, but I still just almost panic inside at the thought of someone (especially me!) throwing up!
Oh, I forgot - I need to go start a load of laundry... ok, that's better. Liam was down to one blanket because his other two smelled like pee.
So far we've remained caught up on Molly's school. The second marking period is officially over! :) Hopefully her grades will remain good. I think they are, but it's hard for me to keep track over all. I know there have been a few things that she just wasn't paying attention with. I suppose I could make her do things over, but it doesn't seem honest to me. She wouldn't get that chance in a regular school. (Besides that, I'm too lazy to fight that fight.) In a way, I'm not that concerned with her grades because I know she knows stuff. But I still want her to be able to be recognized for that knowledge.
Liam is screeching. Got to go.
14.1.09
Is there anything BUT random thoughts?
Massive headache today. I had it last night too, but it didn't go away overnight. My eyes just want to close.
I should probably get lunch for the kids. My mom will be here at 12:30 to take Molly to dance class. If I could just get both the babies down for a nap then!! Oh, the possibilities!! The right thing to do would be to play with Maggie...
I have Ida at 4 and if something doesn't change between now and then, I'll be a danger on the road. I'm very frustrated with the whole diet thing. Yes, my pain level is WAY down, but I can't say I'm feeling any more energetic. And I'm not losing weight fast enough. I've been stalled out for almost 2 months now, with no sign of anything changing. I've cheated (mildly) and nothing has happened. I've not cheated and nothing has changed. So why am I sacrificing yummy(er) foods again? I get the no sugar thing - but if eating Ezekiel bread doesn't change anything, why shouldn't I have a sandwich? I just want all this weight gone, already. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing disgustingness.
My kids are all playing (relatively) happily together. They find the strangest things inspirational. It's all because of the popcorn Liam and Lorelei spilled all over the floor yesterday and I never vacuumed up. They're using it for all sorts of things - talking about it, playing with it, eating it. It's like a brand new toy.
It's really cold down here. The TV room stays ok because of the wall heater, but the family and laundry rooms are freezing. I tried to get laundry started yesterday - at least sorted and ready to carry down, but Liam started fussing, so I didn't get very far. I really should get the bedrooms at least delaudrified before tonight.
I think I'm going to pick up Chuck with Janet on Friday afternoon. Which means Molly really needs to get school finished up tomorrow, unless we're just going to accept Saturday school. She's done some stuff this morning, but the kids were up really late last night and I think she's having more trouble than usual focusing. (Not that it had any bearing on her getting 100% on her math tests...) I think we have to plant some seeds for science. After that it's just language arts stuff - which we haven't done any this week. I think she's learning and retaining, it just feels so haphazard to me.
Lorelei is getting cuter every day. She's so bad, but it's so hard to discipline her because she's just so darn cute! She's really smart, too. It will be nice when she's more intelligible. She talks a lot, but you can only catch about 75% of it and at least 1/4 of that is nonsense.
I would kill for a bowl of cereal right now. I'm planning on cheating our weekend away. I'm just not going to think about it. But I'd really like to see a certain number on the scale before I do. I'm not sure it's possible, though, since I can't seem to figure out why I stopped losing. It's just so frustrating!!
The kids kinda slept in this morning. They all missed saying bye to Bob. Maggie was heartbroken. It didn't seem to phase the rest. I had managed to get Lorelei and Liam back to sleep after their initial wake ups and had gone back to bed with Maggie next to me, but Molly opened both their doors (presumably to see if I was in there) and woke them both up. I had the older girls entertaining the younger ones, but Molly was being way to spastic and ruined that as well. She is so unaware sometimes, it's baffling.
I need to buy a cheap calendar for down here. I keep looking at the wall where the other one is (that's still on December). Even if I don't have anything written on it, I can usually remember what's on the one upstairs by looking at the blank one. Weird, I know.
Dawn is coming over twice this week - tonight for Buffy and Friday for AI and kid help, since Bob will be gaming elsewhere.This will be the first season of AI in 2 years that I haven't been pregnant and had a baby in the middle of the season. I loved cuddling the newborns while watching TV. I miss their tiny heads and little noises and the way they smell.
Speaking of which, Liam smells different (i.e. worse) than the girls ever did at this age. His feet stink and his head stinks! Lol! :) I'm kinda used to it, but I'm always afraid other people are going to think I don't bathe him!
I really need to get the show on the road. Lunch and at least dishes today.
ttfn
I should probably get lunch for the kids. My mom will be here at 12:30 to take Molly to dance class. If I could just get both the babies down for a nap then!! Oh, the possibilities!! The right thing to do would be to play with Maggie...
I have Ida at 4 and if something doesn't change between now and then, I'll be a danger on the road. I'm very frustrated with the whole diet thing. Yes, my pain level is WAY down, but I can't say I'm feeling any more energetic. And I'm not losing weight fast enough. I've been stalled out for almost 2 months now, with no sign of anything changing. I've cheated (mildly) and nothing has happened. I've not cheated and nothing has changed. So why am I sacrificing yummy(er) foods again? I get the no sugar thing - but if eating Ezekiel bread doesn't change anything, why shouldn't I have a sandwich? I just want all this weight gone, already. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing disgustingness.
My kids are all playing (relatively) happily together. They find the strangest things inspirational. It's all because of the popcorn Liam and Lorelei spilled all over the floor yesterday and I never vacuumed up. They're using it for all sorts of things - talking about it, playing with it, eating it. It's like a brand new toy.
It's really cold down here. The TV room stays ok because of the wall heater, but the family and laundry rooms are freezing. I tried to get laundry started yesterday - at least sorted and ready to carry down, but Liam started fussing, so I didn't get very far. I really should get the bedrooms at least delaudrified before tonight.
I think I'm going to pick up Chuck with Janet on Friday afternoon. Which means Molly really needs to get school finished up tomorrow, unless we're just going to accept Saturday school. She's done some stuff this morning, but the kids were up really late last night and I think she's having more trouble than usual focusing. (Not that it had any bearing on her getting 100% on her math tests...) I think we have to plant some seeds for science. After that it's just language arts stuff - which we haven't done any this week. I think she's learning and retaining, it just feels so haphazard to me.
Lorelei is getting cuter every day. She's so bad, but it's so hard to discipline her because she's just so darn cute! She's really smart, too. It will be nice when she's more intelligible. She talks a lot, but you can only catch about 75% of it and at least 1/4 of that is nonsense.
I would kill for a bowl of cereal right now. I'm planning on cheating our weekend away. I'm just not going to think about it. But I'd really like to see a certain number on the scale before I do. I'm not sure it's possible, though, since I can't seem to figure out why I stopped losing. It's just so frustrating!!
The kids kinda slept in this morning. They all missed saying bye to Bob. Maggie was heartbroken. It didn't seem to phase the rest. I had managed to get Lorelei and Liam back to sleep after their initial wake ups and had gone back to bed with Maggie next to me, but Molly opened both their doors (presumably to see if I was in there) and woke them both up. I had the older girls entertaining the younger ones, but Molly was being way to spastic and ruined that as well. She is so unaware sometimes, it's baffling.
I need to buy a cheap calendar for down here. I keep looking at the wall where the other one is (that's still on December). Even if I don't have anything written on it, I can usually remember what's on the one upstairs by looking at the blank one. Weird, I know.
Dawn is coming over twice this week - tonight for Buffy and Friday for AI and kid help, since Bob will be gaming elsewhere.This will be the first season of AI in 2 years that I haven't been pregnant and had a baby in the middle of the season. I loved cuddling the newborns while watching TV. I miss their tiny heads and little noises and the way they smell.
Speaking of which, Liam smells different (i.e. worse) than the girls ever did at this age. His feet stink and his head stinks! Lol! :) I'm kinda used to it, but I'm always afraid other people are going to think I don't bathe him!
I really need to get the show on the road. Lunch and at least dishes today.
ttfn
13.1.09
Random Thoughts
Today is my baby sister's 21st birthday. I remember when she was born. I used to rock her to sleep when she was a baby. I remember her being a toddler and running around with her silkie and her thumb in her mouth. Her favorite movie was The Little Mermaid. I remember her beating up our Dalmatian puppy! :) I can't believe she's 21. It's almost like having one of my kids turn 21.
I didn't go to bed early last night, like I was planning. As usual I got sucked into Star Trek. Before I knew it, it was 1/4 after 12 and I was falling asleep on the sofa. Then Lorelei woke up at 2 and Liam woke up at 3 and I fell asleep while I was in with him and didn't go back to bed until 4 and then Liam was up again sometime before 7.
On the plus side, Molly is doing fairly well with school today. As long as we can get LA done by the end of the week, we'll still be on track. I don't know if I can do this next year. Maggie still won't be in school, but things are going to have to change a lot between now and school registration. Molly doesn't want to go to "real" school and I don't want to force her, but this is really stressful for me. I feel like I'm tethered to the school table all day, despite the fact that Molly is much more independent than most kids her age. I can't imagine how much more time I'll have to spend with Maggie. And who knows if Lorelei and Liam will be napping by then. They'll be 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. Hard to imagine. Lorelei's the kind of kid where you can't really imagine her past where she is. You can't really think around her.
I'm bummed that Lorelei and Liam won't be napping at the same time today. Liam will probably be waking up right after Lorelei goes down. I would love to nap this afternoon! Who knows - sometimes Liam is good and I can lay down on the sofa, but he's been so cranky with his teeth lately - sometimes he's not even happy when I'm holding him! I tried to keep him up, but I really can't do school with Molly when he's awake. I have to do art with the girls when Lorelei is asleep anyway. They love to paint, so at least they'll be happy.
I really need to do laundry. I'm running out of clothes. I have to put buttons on pants as well... I wish we had a single story house. I wish we'd bought the house we first put an offer in on. We withdrew it because the well was under the driveway, but that really wasn't the big deal we thought it was. That house didn't even have a basement. I guess by now I'd be complaining about being cramped. Or, blissfully unaware of how much crap I hadn't accumulated because I try really hard not to outgrow my environment. I haven't looked at houses lately. I looked briefly last night, but didn't see anything. It's just that we have so much stuff now, we can't downsize.
Ok, I think Molly's mostly done with school now. The stuff she doesn't want to do anyway. So, I'm done on the computer for a while.
ttfn!
I didn't go to bed early last night, like I was planning. As usual I got sucked into Star Trek. Before I knew it, it was 1/4 after 12 and I was falling asleep on the sofa. Then Lorelei woke up at 2 and Liam woke up at 3 and I fell asleep while I was in with him and didn't go back to bed until 4 and then Liam was up again sometime before 7.
On the plus side, Molly is doing fairly well with school today. As long as we can get LA done by the end of the week, we'll still be on track. I don't know if I can do this next year. Maggie still won't be in school, but things are going to have to change a lot between now and school registration. Molly doesn't want to go to "real" school and I don't want to force her, but this is really stressful for me. I feel like I'm tethered to the school table all day, despite the fact that Molly is much more independent than most kids her age. I can't imagine how much more time I'll have to spend with Maggie. And who knows if Lorelei and Liam will be napping by then. They'll be 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. Hard to imagine. Lorelei's the kind of kid where you can't really imagine her past where she is. You can't really think around her.
I'm bummed that Lorelei and Liam won't be napping at the same time today. Liam will probably be waking up right after Lorelei goes down. I would love to nap this afternoon! Who knows - sometimes Liam is good and I can lay down on the sofa, but he's been so cranky with his teeth lately - sometimes he's not even happy when I'm holding him! I tried to keep him up, but I really can't do school with Molly when he's awake. I have to do art with the girls when Lorelei is asleep anyway. They love to paint, so at least they'll be happy.
I really need to do laundry. I'm running out of clothes. I have to put buttons on pants as well... I wish we had a single story house. I wish we'd bought the house we first put an offer in on. We withdrew it because the well was under the driveway, but that really wasn't the big deal we thought it was. That house didn't even have a basement. I guess by now I'd be complaining about being cramped. Or, blissfully unaware of how much crap I hadn't accumulated because I try really hard not to outgrow my environment. I haven't looked at houses lately. I looked briefly last night, but didn't see anything. It's just that we have so much stuff now, we can't downsize.
Ok, I think Molly's mostly done with school now. The stuff she doesn't want to do anyway. So, I'm done on the computer for a while.
ttfn!
12.1.09
Just another Monday
It's already one of those days. I woke up tired. Liam is cranky because he's getting teeth in and Molly doesn't want to do school. I just don't feel like fighting today. (On the plus - and rather random - side, the basement is cleaned up and the shelves have been reorganized! :) YAY!) So, the kids are watching movies and it will probably be that way all day.
I really should do laundry and dishes, but that would require actual work and I'm not sure I'm up for that. Maybe I should go to bed REALLY early tonight instead of playing games or watching Star Trek (tNG, of course).
I can't focus today. And I can't make any goals (per my NYResolution), so I guess that's that. ttfn!
I really should do laundry and dishes, but that would require actual work and I'm not sure I'm up for that. Maybe I should go to bed REALLY early tonight instead of playing games or watching Star Trek (tNG, of course).
I can't focus today. And I can't make any goals (per my NYResolution), so I guess that's that. ttfn!
9.1.09
It would be an interesting scientific study to see how a woman's brain changes over the years after she has kids. Except for the fact that you'd never know what would have happened had she not had kids. I feel like my brain has atrophied. I used to think about all kinds of things all the time. I had no trouble remembering vast numbers of things - from my schoolwork to my schedule. I came up with ideas about how to change things and accomplish things and organize things.
These days I feel like there's mush in my head. I have a super sense when it comes to my kids - their cries and needs and wants. I can hear what they're doing (or not doing) from the other room or even another floor of the house. It's as if I am connected to them in a way that's almost like they're an extension of my body. I just know them, like I know myself. And while they can surprise me, it doesn't happen very often. Where they are concerned I can adapt fairly quickly, I can anticipate their reactions and change situations before they even know what's happening.
Everything else in life is mush. Even my organizational skills - which I would put at the top of things I'm good at - are faltering. I sat in the family room for 20 minutes today looking at the shelves, trying to figure out a way to rearrange things in our house so that they don't look jammed up. I couldn't do it. Not without adding more sets of shelves somewhere or getting rid of some of the things we have. And it's not that those things aren't valid solutions, it's just that, back in the day, I probably would have just taken everything off the shelves, put it all back on and it would have looked brilliant.
I just feel so lazy. I am defeated before I begin because all I can think about it how much energy I'll expend doing a task. Not that I'm saving it - just that I don't have it to begin with.
I miss having intellectual conversations about philosophy and psychology and the humanities. I don't think I could conjure a reasonable argument now to save my life. People talk and I listen and I think, "Wow, those are amazing thoughts" and I have nothing to contribute. I only half follow what's going on because the minute I process it, it leaves what little brain I have left and I'm left with an echo of what's been said. It's so hard to grasp thoughts and hold them these days. And it's so frustrating because I remember a time when it was easy.
I go back and read my old journals. Sometimes it's pure dribble and I'm embarrassed to have written it, but sometimes I still think I was on to something - or I had at least really put two and two together. And I'm surprised by my own thoughts because I haven't had any like them in quite some time.
Mothers (at least stay at home ones) get a bad rap for being rather boring and uninteresting. All they can talk about is their kids and households. And I've turned into that! I could try to challenge myself by reading books, but I swear I can barely get through picture books these days.
I do research things online quite a bit. I've been asked by people in the medical field if I have a medical background - presumably because I sound like I know what I'm talking about. So it's not as if I have no knowledge. I just feel like I have no depth - no application - no life in my thoughts.
I've been talking to a friend recently who is as vibrant and alive as he was years ago when we were close. I can't really remember what we used to talk about, but I remember talking for hours on the phone and always feeling alive - charged - full of energy and potential after we talked. He still has the ability to make me feel that way, but I also realize even more how much I've changed.
I long to feel the way I used to - not dull and boring. I used to feel like I could argue my way into or out of anything. Like I could find a solution to every problem. Like I could contribute in a positive way to the activities and conversations and lives surrounding me.
I know I am shaping my kids each day with what we do together. And I know that being a parent is one of the most important jobs around - and definitely one of the hardest. It's a huge responsibility. And yet, though there are huge rewards, they come so slowly sometimes, it's very hard to keep my perspective above the floorboards and see anything like the big picture. I'm down in the trenches every day, all day, and my views become very limited and skewed.
I love my life, my kids, my husband, the job I've chosen to do. But inside I am still the person I always have been - one who loved art and music and literature and who loved examining the human condition.
There's a part of me that is not able to be expressed these days. It's inside, sometimes writhing to come out, sometimes dormant, slowly dying. There are many days when I don't even realize it's there. But then, someone touches it - and it's as if I suddenly realize that I'm starving or dying of thirst.
I love my friends - I love hanging out with them - talking about our kids and gossiping (in the nicest way, of course) and laughing at who we've all become. But sometimes I really miss who I used to be.
These days I feel like there's mush in my head. I have a super sense when it comes to my kids - their cries and needs and wants. I can hear what they're doing (or not doing) from the other room or even another floor of the house. It's as if I am connected to them in a way that's almost like they're an extension of my body. I just know them, like I know myself. And while they can surprise me, it doesn't happen very often. Where they are concerned I can adapt fairly quickly, I can anticipate their reactions and change situations before they even know what's happening.
Everything else in life is mush. Even my organizational skills - which I would put at the top of things I'm good at - are faltering. I sat in the family room for 20 minutes today looking at the shelves, trying to figure out a way to rearrange things in our house so that they don't look jammed up. I couldn't do it. Not without adding more sets of shelves somewhere or getting rid of some of the things we have. And it's not that those things aren't valid solutions, it's just that, back in the day, I probably would have just taken everything off the shelves, put it all back on and it would have looked brilliant.
I just feel so lazy. I am defeated before I begin because all I can think about it how much energy I'll expend doing a task. Not that I'm saving it - just that I don't have it to begin with.
I miss having intellectual conversations about philosophy and psychology and the humanities. I don't think I could conjure a reasonable argument now to save my life. People talk and I listen and I think, "Wow, those are amazing thoughts" and I have nothing to contribute. I only half follow what's going on because the minute I process it, it leaves what little brain I have left and I'm left with an echo of what's been said. It's so hard to grasp thoughts and hold them these days. And it's so frustrating because I remember a time when it was easy.
I go back and read my old journals. Sometimes it's pure dribble and I'm embarrassed to have written it, but sometimes I still think I was on to something - or I had at least really put two and two together. And I'm surprised by my own thoughts because I haven't had any like them in quite some time.
Mothers (at least stay at home ones) get a bad rap for being rather boring and uninteresting. All they can talk about is their kids and households. And I've turned into that! I could try to challenge myself by reading books, but I swear I can barely get through picture books these days.
I do research things online quite a bit. I've been asked by people in the medical field if I have a medical background - presumably because I sound like I know what I'm talking about. So it's not as if I have no knowledge. I just feel like I have no depth - no application - no life in my thoughts.
I've been talking to a friend recently who is as vibrant and alive as he was years ago when we were close. I can't really remember what we used to talk about, but I remember talking for hours on the phone and always feeling alive - charged - full of energy and potential after we talked. He still has the ability to make me feel that way, but I also realize even more how much I've changed.
I long to feel the way I used to - not dull and boring. I used to feel like I could argue my way into or out of anything. Like I could find a solution to every problem. Like I could contribute in a positive way to the activities and conversations and lives surrounding me.
I know I am shaping my kids each day with what we do together. And I know that being a parent is one of the most important jobs around - and definitely one of the hardest. It's a huge responsibility. And yet, though there are huge rewards, they come so slowly sometimes, it's very hard to keep my perspective above the floorboards and see anything like the big picture. I'm down in the trenches every day, all day, and my views become very limited and skewed.
I love my life, my kids, my husband, the job I've chosen to do. But inside I am still the person I always have been - one who loved art and music and literature and who loved examining the human condition.
There's a part of me that is not able to be expressed these days. It's inside, sometimes writhing to come out, sometimes dormant, slowly dying. There are many days when I don't even realize it's there. But then, someone touches it - and it's as if I suddenly realize that I'm starving or dying of thirst.
I love my friends - I love hanging out with them - talking about our kids and gossiping (in the nicest way, of course) and laughing at who we've all become. But sometimes I really miss who I used to be.
Already 3:00. Nice. I love having friends over. It makes my days go quickly.
It has gotten to the point where I really need to clean up the basement. Especially if the guys are going to play Rock Band tonight... maybe later.
I cheated - I ate a sandwich with cheese on it and a brownie. Bad me! But it all tasted so good! At least the bread was sprouted.
I could go ahead and put in a load of laundry. There are at least 2 on the floor over here... maybe later.
Why am I so lazy these days? I feel like the house needs a major overhaul. It's not just feeling dirty or messy, it's feeling seriously cluttered. I really hate that feeling. What can I get rid of? More toys? Books? Kitchen stuff? Clothes? I can't wait until it's warm enough to open the house up again. That will help tremendously. Everyone who walks into our house says that it's nice, but I just feel... cramped. Like we're busting at the seams.
Lorelei is sleeping and probably will be for a while since she didn't go down until 2, but Liam went down at 12ish and woke up about 1/2 an hour ago. I'm hoping he goes to bed earlier tonight. I'm sure Lorelei won't, but maybe Molly and Maggie can too. Maybe I'll bring Lorelei down here and clean up tonight.
I didn't make sticky buns for the guys like I'd talked about, so I hope they're not too disappointed. I have stuff to make brownies and we have ice cream and toppings, so at least they have something.
I still have done thank you notes for Christmas.
I need to start planning the kids' birthday party. I can't decide who we're going to invite. I know some people for sure, but it's hard to draw the line with there are other kids in the same "categories", you know?
I need a knick knack shelf in my bedroom. And I think another set of shelves in this room would be helpful. They'd have to be wall mounted, though. I really need white space, but we're rapidly filling it all up. Hence the cluttered, cramped feeling, but I don't know what else to do.
I wish I could build the house I've built in my head. I think it's an awesome house and it would serve us quite nicely. I wish I could draw - I could at least get it down on paper then.
I'm bored.
It has gotten to the point where I really need to clean up the basement. Especially if the guys are going to play Rock Band tonight... maybe later.
I cheated - I ate a sandwich with cheese on it and a brownie. Bad me! But it all tasted so good! At least the bread was sprouted.
I could go ahead and put in a load of laundry. There are at least 2 on the floor over here... maybe later.
Why am I so lazy these days? I feel like the house needs a major overhaul. It's not just feeling dirty or messy, it's feeling seriously cluttered. I really hate that feeling. What can I get rid of? More toys? Books? Kitchen stuff? Clothes? I can't wait until it's warm enough to open the house up again. That will help tremendously. Everyone who walks into our house says that it's nice, but I just feel... cramped. Like we're busting at the seams.
Lorelei is sleeping and probably will be for a while since she didn't go down until 2, but Liam went down at 12ish and woke up about 1/2 an hour ago. I'm hoping he goes to bed earlier tonight. I'm sure Lorelei won't, but maybe Molly and Maggie can too. Maybe I'll bring Lorelei down here and clean up tonight.
I didn't make sticky buns for the guys like I'd talked about, so I hope they're not too disappointed. I have stuff to make brownies and we have ice cream and toppings, so at least they have something.
I still have done thank you notes for Christmas.
I need to start planning the kids' birthday party. I can't decide who we're going to invite. I know some people for sure, but it's hard to draw the line with there are other kids in the same "categories", you know?
I need a knick knack shelf in my bedroom. And I think another set of shelves in this room would be helpful. They'd have to be wall mounted, though. I really need white space, but we're rapidly filling it all up. Hence the cluttered, cramped feeling, but I don't know what else to do.
I wish I could build the house I've built in my head. I think it's an awesome house and it would serve us quite nicely. I wish I could draw - I could at least get it down on paper then.
I'm bored.
8.1.09
I feel like crap again today, so instead of doing anything productive, I'm going to blog all day. At least until my children stage a coup and I am forced to take care of them.
I think I've been watching too much Buffy lately. I dreamt about vampires and blood all night long. I think it took me a while to wake up to my kids screaming, since it was incorporated into my dreams. They were up a ridiculous amount last night. I was in with Lorelei twice and Liam once and then they were up this morning at 7. Liam was up at least twice before we actually went to bed. That's about average - 5 times a night between the two of them. Yeah, that's a bit ridiculous. I'm holding out hope that by the end of 2009 all my kids will be sleeping through the night and I might not look like death warmed over every morning.
Right now Lorelei is crying because she's trying to poop, Liam is crying because he climbed up onto the picnic table while it was under the school table and is stuck. Molly and Maggie are up in their room, playing nicely (tea party, I think). I really need to do school with Molly, but I hate interrupting them when they're actually getting along. I really, really. want to take a nap when the little ones go down, but if I wait around to do school, I'll have to do that instead.
I'd like to get the first floor (at least!) cleaned up today - actually CLEANED - since I have friends coming over tomorrow morning. I'm so glad I went ahead and did dishes last night. I hate coming down to a kitchen full of dirty dishes. We had fish for dinner last night, so I had extra motivation. Nothing like coming down to a kitchen full of dirty dishes that smell like fish. Anyway, it's nice to start out with a clean kitchen. Of course, that only lasts until after breakfast.
I've almost gotten through all the laundry. I haven't put a stitch of it away and there are at least two loads that need washed and two others that are clean that need brought upstairs. *sigh* Will my life ever be anything other than dishes and laundry?
What would I do if we didn't have kids? I stopped working because it was too stressful to get pregnant. It wasn't that I didn't like my job, although, at the time there were social issues that were causing problems. I probably would have had to switch, or my marriage would not be in the place it is now. I loved that job, though. Working with all those numbers - all that money! :) I think I'll be an accountant when I grow up. Wish I'd thought of that before I actually grew up...
Now, Molly and Maggie are sitting here logging into Molly's school. Lorelei and Liam are under the school table, fussing about stuff. I checked Molly's school stuff and she doesn't have a ton of stuff - especially stuff that will take time - or require my help. Yay! :) Whatever we don't get done today, though, we'll have to do over the weekend, so I'd like to get most of it done. We're taking tomorrow off, since by the time people leave tomorrow it will be time for naps and the afternoon will be mostly done.
I need a break. I am so excited about my birthday weekend away! I really, really hope nothing happens to prevent it! I'm mostly looking forward to Friday night. The feeling of the freedom of two whole nights and two whole mornings of sleep and almost two whole days of no kids!!
Liam is screaming at me, so I'd better go for now. He's amazing - he can't walk yet, but he can climb onto the top of the school table.
I think I've been watching too much Buffy lately. I dreamt about vampires and blood all night long. I think it took me a while to wake up to my kids screaming, since it was incorporated into my dreams. They were up a ridiculous amount last night. I was in with Lorelei twice and Liam once and then they were up this morning at 7. Liam was up at least twice before we actually went to bed. That's about average - 5 times a night between the two of them. Yeah, that's a bit ridiculous. I'm holding out hope that by the end of 2009 all my kids will be sleeping through the night and I might not look like death warmed over every morning.
Right now Lorelei is crying because she's trying to poop, Liam is crying because he climbed up onto the picnic table while it was under the school table and is stuck. Molly and Maggie are up in their room, playing nicely (tea party, I think). I really need to do school with Molly, but I hate interrupting them when they're actually getting along. I really, really. want to take a nap when the little ones go down, but if I wait around to do school, I'll have to do that instead.
I'd like to get the first floor (at least!) cleaned up today - actually CLEANED - since I have friends coming over tomorrow morning. I'm so glad I went ahead and did dishes last night. I hate coming down to a kitchen full of dirty dishes. We had fish for dinner last night, so I had extra motivation. Nothing like coming down to a kitchen full of dirty dishes that smell like fish. Anyway, it's nice to start out with a clean kitchen. Of course, that only lasts until after breakfast.
I've almost gotten through all the laundry. I haven't put a stitch of it away and there are at least two loads that need washed and two others that are clean that need brought upstairs. *sigh* Will my life ever be anything other than dishes and laundry?
What would I do if we didn't have kids? I stopped working because it was too stressful to get pregnant. It wasn't that I didn't like my job, although, at the time there were social issues that were causing problems. I probably would have had to switch, or my marriage would not be in the place it is now. I loved that job, though. Working with all those numbers - all that money! :) I think I'll be an accountant when I grow up. Wish I'd thought of that before I actually grew up...
Now, Molly and Maggie are sitting here logging into Molly's school. Lorelei and Liam are under the school table, fussing about stuff. I checked Molly's school stuff and she doesn't have a ton of stuff - especially stuff that will take time - or require my help. Yay! :) Whatever we don't get done today, though, we'll have to do over the weekend, so I'd like to get most of it done. We're taking tomorrow off, since by the time people leave tomorrow it will be time for naps and the afternoon will be mostly done.
I need a break. I am so excited about my birthday weekend away! I really, really hope nothing happens to prevent it! I'm mostly looking forward to Friday night. The feeling of the freedom of two whole nights and two whole mornings of sleep and almost two whole days of no kids!!
Liam is screaming at me, so I'd better go for now. He's amazing - he can't walk yet, but he can climb onto the top of the school table.
7.1.09
Still quiet (knock on wood)
So, it's 3:18 and I still haven't heard a peep from either of the little ones. They've been asleep now for almost 3 hours!! Molly's back from dance and she and Maggie are playing quietly with moon sand. I've checked my email, had a few conversations, redone my supplements for this week, made Operation not so scary - basically procrastinated like crazy on doing anything really productive - but it's all been done in relative silence!! That's basically unheard of in my house. I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm really hoping this unified long nap thing the L's have going on continues because I like it a lot!! Of course the whole nap things is blown again for today, but that's ok - I'm not as tired as I was yesterday. There are times when I think my antibiotic is finally kicking in.
I fit in to jeans 2 sizes smaller than what I had been wearing today. I was kinda psyched. Maybe I won't have to be totally dumpy for the rest of my life.
My mind is all discombobulated today. I can't focus right now. ttfn!
I fit in to jeans 2 sizes smaller than what I had been wearing today. I was kinda psyched. Maybe I won't have to be totally dumpy for the rest of my life.
My mind is all discombobulated today. I can't focus right now. ttfn!
5.1.09
I really want to be napping right now, but I decided to be responsible and get some more school work done with Molly instead. I'll probably thank myself later, but right now I am so tired I can hardly think straight. I feel crappy. I officially got sick on Friday, went to the clinic on Saturday and got antibiotics, but still feel pretty crappy today. I have to leave in 2 1/2 hours to take Molly to a specialist for her arm. Bob is going to meet me over there and watch the kids in the van (they'll be watching a movie) and then he has a Dr. P appointment at 4:45. So I get to take the kids home and listen to them scream for the next hour until he gets home. I really hate that time of day.
I should be doing laundry, but it's been all I can do to get the dishes done. I still need to make bottles and pack a diaper bag. And figure out some way to take hot water so Bob can make bottles, if necessary. I need to buy a thermos of some sort because I've often wanted to take hot water for bottles and end up making them with lukewarm water and sometimes that's ok with the kids and sometimes it's not. He'll probably end up driving them around anyway. Hopefully the appointment won't take too long.
Ug. I hate being this tired. I can hear my bed calling to me. At some point I need to get a shower in. I should have done it right when the kids went to bed, but I had been planning on taking a nap and then decided to do school with Molly instead. Blah. I should have taken a nap...
Molly is a big complainer. Spanking doesn't seem to affect it at all. I'm not sure what to do. It's like she can't keep her mouth shut to save her life. No amount of threatening (or follow through) helps. She has no logic when it comes to time management. She seems to be slow in gaining logic about anything. It's extremely frustrating because you can't reason with a person who doesn't understand logic.
I just want to pass out. But the little ones have been already been asleep for almost 2 hours and I know the minute I'd fall asleep they'd wake up and I'd feel worse than I do now. I made my second cup of tea for the day with caffeine in hopes that I'll feel a little bit better. I hate driving when I feel like this. I have to fight sleep the entire time and I don't feel safe.
I need something new to read. (Anyone, if you're looking for a birthday present, pay attention...) I have a bunch of books on my wish list - in the highest priority setting - that I would love to have. LMMontgomery is a wonderful author to read during the winter. Well, I love her any time, but she's a cozy author.
I hear Lorelei. Good thing I didn't give in a lay down. (I never can remember when you use lay and lie. I think lay is when you put something down and lie is when you sleep, but I'm not sure...) Anyway. Now the question is, do I wait for Liam to wake up to or put Lorelei in the jonny jump up and risk him waking up. If I wait, he goes in the jump up and she gets strapped into her high chair. I will love it when I can take a shower in peace without having to worry about the kids killing themselves or each other.
ttfn.
I should be doing laundry, but it's been all I can do to get the dishes done. I still need to make bottles and pack a diaper bag. And figure out some way to take hot water so Bob can make bottles, if necessary. I need to buy a thermos of some sort because I've often wanted to take hot water for bottles and end up making them with lukewarm water and sometimes that's ok with the kids and sometimes it's not. He'll probably end up driving them around anyway. Hopefully the appointment won't take too long.
Ug. I hate being this tired. I can hear my bed calling to me. At some point I need to get a shower in. I should have done it right when the kids went to bed, but I had been planning on taking a nap and then decided to do school with Molly instead. Blah. I should have taken a nap...
Molly is a big complainer. Spanking doesn't seem to affect it at all. I'm not sure what to do. It's like she can't keep her mouth shut to save her life. No amount of threatening (or follow through) helps. She has no logic when it comes to time management. She seems to be slow in gaining logic about anything. It's extremely frustrating because you can't reason with a person who doesn't understand logic.
I just want to pass out. But the little ones have been already been asleep for almost 2 hours and I know the minute I'd fall asleep they'd wake up and I'd feel worse than I do now. I made my second cup of tea for the day with caffeine in hopes that I'll feel a little bit better. I hate driving when I feel like this. I have to fight sleep the entire time and I don't feel safe.
I need something new to read. (Anyone, if you're looking for a birthday present, pay attention...) I have a bunch of books on my wish list - in the highest priority setting - that I would love to have. LMMontgomery is a wonderful author to read during the winter. Well, I love her any time, but she's a cozy author.
I hear Lorelei. Good thing I didn't give in a lay down. (I never can remember when you use lay and lie. I think lay is when you put something down and lie is when you sleep, but I'm not sure...) Anyway. Now the question is, do I wait for Liam to wake up to or put Lorelei in the jonny jump up and risk him waking up. If I wait, he goes in the jump up and she gets strapped into her high chair. I will love it when I can take a shower in peace without having to worry about the kids killing themselves or each other.
ttfn.
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