31.12.09

Random Thoughts

I love the empty, uncluttered feeling of the house after all the Christmas decorations are taken down. I feel like I can breathe easier. I can't wait until Monday. All will be back to normal and we can continue on with life. The month between Thanksgiving and New Years is fun, but exhausting and there is no groove to get into. I like my groove.
The kids are dying to get out and play in the snow. I haven't gotten their snowsuits out yet, despite all the snow so far this season. I don't like the thought of icy, pine-needley puddles on my already dirty floor. Though, I suppose, since it's already dirty it shouldn't really matter to me.
Next Friday I get the day to myself. I'm taking the little kids to the babysitters right after Molly gets picked up and won't pick them up until after Molly gets dropped off. My only real goal is getting the stuff for Salvation Army sorted the night before and dropped off that morning. But getting the floors mopped would be a nice plus.
Though I'm trying hard, I'm not looking forward to the next three months. They are the dreariest months of the year. Though we have 10 birthdays scattered throughout (including my own!), it doesn't do much to permeate the day to day blahness. At least Bob and I get a weekend away at the end of January. I still cannot wait until spring truly arrives, though (which, in Pennsylvania, much to my disappointment, is usually mid to late April, not March). Maybe I shall count down the days on my calendar.
I'm craving a trip to my Granny's as well. It feels like forever since we've been there, even though it's only been a few months. She's not doing well and I want to see her again in case things get bad. I know the day she dies is inevitable but I can't imagine life without Granny alive and it's only just begun to really sink in that that day will come sooner rather than later. She still might have a decade left, but 10 years doesn't seem long anymore.
I'm starting 2010 on the heels of a very bad year. 2009 was dreadful for so many reasons. While I have reason to believe 2010 will be much better, emotional remnants of 2009 remain. Sometimes I wish I could just turn that part of me off. Turn off my brain, turn off my heart, live life blissfully ignorant of anything other than superficial awareness. Either that or be truly satisfied in the richness of all God has to offer and be able to filter out all the unwanted dross. Shallow clear water or muddy deep water seems to be my only options so far, though. Oh, for the deep, clear Caribbean water, teaming with life, thriving in the tropical sunshine.

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