Heartbroken Ramblings

What is love? Does it ultimately come down to self sacrifice (like giving your life)? Even if it comes with pleasure, why would you invest yourself significantly in something that would cost so dearly in the end? I know I'm a selfish being, maybe more selfish than most - but even the people for whom I'd say I'd gladly give my life - I don't feel like I can give my all in being alive. I don't know what it means to love someone so much that you'd weigh every decision against their happiness - or consistently choose their happiness over you own. I guess if the choices coincide it's a happy coincidence, but what if they don't? What if it's big? Do you live with that decision the rest of your life? Was it really that important to you if you can just let it go? Or even let it go with difficulty?
We hear so much these days about 'taking care of yourself' and 'taking time for yourself' and 'letting you be you' and a whole bunch of other pop psych phrases. How many are really valid? If you're a mom and you feel like you need 'me time" - do you really need it or do you just want it and could do just fine without if you refocus your priorities to the ones you love - your children - whom you would gladly die for? I don't know a mother out there who wouldn't say she wouldn't die for her kids. But I also know that the vast majority of those mothers would say they need their 'me time' time to 'recharge' so they can 'be better moms'. Really? Wouldn't the best mom be there serving her children all the time?
The same can be said for husbands and wives. There are couples that take separate vacations - tons of 'ladies' meetings and 'mens' meetings in the church. I'm sure those could easily be justified as ways to make you a better wife or husband. Maybe it all depends on your attitude. How many things can be justified as making you a better person - for the ones you love - while getting you away from the ones you love? Do you really go to those meetings, events, dates, places with betterment of yourself for others in mind? Does it really have to be either or?
And what happens when your emotions don't feel the way they're supposed to? Even they way you want them to? Do you go with your gut? Your emotions? Saying 'this is what the real me wants and it will make me a better person not to deny myself'? Do you deny yourself and say 'this is what I know I should do so I'm going to do it no matter how it makes me feel.'? My guess would be that most people (Christians anyway) would say the latter. And then what? Suck it up and deal? What about when the dealing gets rough? Where's love then?
I can make choices - consistently make choices that deny my emotions but that doesn't mean my emotions change. It doesn't mean I don't struggle off and on with my choices. It doesn't even mean my emotions will ever really change. Where does that leave me? Where does that leave the ones I love? The ones who are depending on those choices?
I don't think the easy path is the right path and I don't expect a life without conflict, I just wish it were a life with resolution. I'd like a different problem, please.