The Other Side

So, I had my surgery this morning. And while, in and of itself, the surgery went well, I got some not so great news.
I've been diagnosed with Stage IV endometriosis. [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis ] (I know there are worse sentences, but it means another surgery for me and continued pain as well as some other risks/complications.) I guess it's hard to see endometriosis on scanning devices, so it's often found through surgery. The doctor said I probably had a tumor that had been there for quite a while because it was nercropic. [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrosis ] The idea that, yes, my insides really WERE turning into black, gelatinous goo is a bit disturbing.
My doctor said the mass was so large and funky that he thought it was cancer. It was sent to the lab and it is NOT cancerous, but that was a scary revelation as well. The idea that something so deadly can grow inside with such small (in relation) symptoms. I am very grateful it is not, but continue to be frightened that it could be.
I will be having at least one other surgery to remove the rest of my reproductive organs and anything else that's growing in there. While I don't relish the idea of another surgery it is much better than the other option - doing nothing and letting the endometriosis take over my body. I like the idea of all this pain going away. I'm so thankful that I have my four wonderful children now - before I had any sort of diagnosis - since, obviously, I won't be able to have anymore after this.
The removal of all my reproductive organs means early menopause, of course. I have no idea what to expect from this. I don't know if I'll have to start any therapies or what. Psychologically I'm fairly fine with the idea, although, the idea of not being ABLE to have anymore children has hurt. Even though I wasn't planning on it anyway.
I have a post op appointment on March 2nd, where I'll learn more. I was so out of it when the doctor stopped by this afternoon I couldn't retain much information. My incisions had to be larger than they thought to accommodate taking such a large mass out, so my pain is a bit more than they'd anticipated as well. They gave me a lot of pain meds in the hospital and vicodin (what else?!?) to take at home as I need it. Since I've had c-sections, I can say this ISN'T the worst pain I've ever felt, but I do feel pretty crappy! :)
I'm grateful for everyone's prayers. I was at the hospital by myself today (due to the weather, Bob dropped me off and stayed home with the kids and my parents brought me home from the hospital - it took them that long to dig out!) but, while it was scary, it could have been worse. All the nurses and doctors were really nice and efficient and skilled - which is nice because it meant hardly any waiting around and no botching of procedures like getting the IV started. I'm also hooked up with my favorite OB of the entire entity of Hershey Med. He's a wonderful doctor - very sympathetic and very much a people person.
So, aside from some lingering fear about cancer and upcoming surgeries, I'm walking away from the other side feeling better. Relieved that they have a diagnosis, relieved that it wasn't all in my head! :) And not feeling too miserable. :)