Randomness

I should be cleaning up the house right now. But I have a headache and I'm dizzy. This morning I thought it was because I hadn't eaten yet, but I ate and didn't feel any better. I'm doing at least one load of laundry because I have to wash Liam's bedding. His blankies stink so bad!
Molly did really well in school this morning. She only has a few more things to do - art mostly, so she shouldn't complain about that. I'm waiting until Lorelei goes down for a nap (or Liam and Lorelei go down for the night) to have her do it. I wasn't sure she was going to be up for school today, since she spent all weekend with 103 fever. She slept most of the weekend and was really not feeling well at all, but she was fine this morning. Maggie had a fever too, but only for a day. So far the two little ones don't seem to have it at all.
I got the living room the way I want it. For now. Bob and I ordered the kids birthday presents the other night, so I'll have to figure out where they're going to go. For the most part everything already has space. There are just a few things to go in the living room and there's space in the hutch, it's just on top of some other stuff.
Right now there are coats and outerwear all over the hallway. That's the one thing I really hate about having the stuff in the hall - Lorelei can get into it whenever she wants to. And I don't think there's a way to put a door there. It would look bad anyway. I guess I could put up a gate. That would help for part of it anyway. I think there'd be two hooks that she could still reach. I don't have a spare gate, though. The two that I have that you can remove are being used in the basement. And one of them is almost destroyed anyway.
I really need to clean up the family room too, since it has paper strewn all over it - again, thanks to Lorelei. I can't see Liam right now, so he's probably in there eating it. I hate to blame everything on Lorelei all the time, but, seriously, she causes about 85% of the issues we have around here. It's so calm when Bob has her out with him. I can actually get things done and have them stay that way for a little while! (Until she comes home...)
I haven't gone through Christmas pictures either. And I'm pretty sure I completely forgot to do last months teddy picture. The first time in almost 6 years. Sadly enough, out of everything I could be stressed about, that's at least in the top 5.
I have to get the house cleaned up by Wednesday. That's usually my artificial deadline. It's just that, by then, we're in the middle of the week, Dawn comes over and I want to be able to relax, I don't want to have to rush to get things neat by the weekend, which is always my goal, so I don't feel the need to do a ton of stuff then. And this week it'll be New Year's Eve and we have other friends coming over as well. And who wants to start the New Year off with a messy house? Bob has off on Thursday and I like things to be neat when he's home because, whether he admits it or not, he's less stressed out when they are.
It's funny. The days used to drag a bit. Every now and then I still get an afternoon that drags. But, by and large, when I look at the clock, I think, "Wow! How did it get so late so fast?". I prefer it that way, though. I'd rather run out of time than have too much, actually. Even though I really hate being late or not getting things done.
It's hard to believe Christmas is over already. And it's almost 2009! The 2000's just seem sci fi to me. In elementary school we had to write essays about what the 2000s would be like. We'd be all grown up and everything. It just seemed so far away. Not to mention that a lot of the sci fi movies from back in the day took place in our time! Makes me feel ancient. And a bit backwards. Lol.
I'm really trying to work up the motivation to go upstairs and at least get the first floor cleaned up. I just can't. All I want to do it go to sleep. My head feels so heavy and my eyes just want to close.
On a random note, I LOVE the heater that Bob bought for the basement. It's doing a really good job of keeping the basement warm without the fireplace (the motor in the blower broke and it hasn't been fixed yet). It almost feels warmer. Maybe it's just me.
It's back to the grind as far as the diet goes. I cheated, big time, over Christmas week and now I have to get strict again. I maintained my weight for the week, though, so I can't have gone THAT overboard. Guess we'll see if I test for toxins on Wednesday! :)
Liam and Lorelei are getting fussy, so I should finish up.
ttfn

Merry Christmas

Today was... interesting. As Christmases go, it wasn't the best, although I wasn't really expecting it to be. The kids were excited, I suppose, but the overall ambiance wasn't that great. It snuck up on me this year, in a big way. And I guess I've been pretty depressed lately, so it's been hard to get into the spirit - I never quite managed it. I hardly took any pictures. There are whole sections of things I missed. In my defense, it was a little chaotic, thanks mostly to Lorelei, but, still, I didn't bring my A game, by any stretch of the imagination. I slept most of this afternoon. I spent tonight making food for tomorrow (Christmas with my family). And I let the girls stay up way too late (11:15!!) so they'll probably not do all that well tomorrow. I just can't seem to get my head screwed on straight these days. I am mildly excited for tomorrow. I hope I can get the food made right and everything else done that I want to get done before people show up. Bob has to go to Target first thing in the morning. I'm hoping he'll take at least Lorelei with him - maybe Maggie too, since she's perpetually getting the shaft around here. It would make my job a lot easier, especially since Liam will go down for a nap before everyone gets here. With just Molly I should be able to get a lot accomplished pretty quickly. Well, the camera is done downloading, so I should go to bed. I've cheated so much on my diet this week - my belly isn't feeling very well... starting next week I'm going back to being REALLY strict!!

Another Facebook Posting

10 books that made me who I am today

I love to read, so this seemed like fun!
1. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Drove home the idea that who you're friends with and who and what you give yourself to greatly influences who you become.
2. Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare. Keep your sense of humor - even when you're mad.
3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Get the whole picture before making judgements. Give people the benefit of doubt.
4. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. The whole series is great, but The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe gives the clearest most powerful, yet simplest parallel to the gospel I've ever read.
5. Running Scared by Edward T. Welch. The best working definition of God's grace. Breaks down anxiety and fear into manageable - almost non existent portions.
6. Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. Love of language. Best warning out there - "These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume"
7. DragonSpell by Donita K. Paul. I couldn't make it through the other books in the series, but the first one teaches well, through fantasy, the role of God and Jesus in our lives.
8. Max Lucado books, specifically the Punchinello & The Wemmicks series. Wonderful kids books illustrating Biblical principals.
9. Diary of Anne Frank. I started writing a journal because of her and I wouldn't be the same without it!
10. Any book by Lucy Maud Montgomery. Love of language. Love of gentleness, feisty-ness, wholesomeness, romance. She is just a wonderful writer!

Frustrations abound

Friday. Afternoon. Two words that strike fear in the hearts of man. At least if you have to spend it with my kids.
For the past few days Molly has decided to have the bad attitude of a 15 year old and think she is superior to everyone in the family. It isn't that unusual, she's just ramped it up to intolerable.
Maggie, as usual, doesn't feel she gets enough attention and picks on her sisters, runs into and pushes me (not in anger, just to be annoying, as far as I can tell), complains about EVERYTHING and makes up excuses why she can't do anything she's supposed to do.
Lorelei is just herself, into everything, crankier than any kid I know, even when she's in a good mood. The thing that made her laugh hardest today? Throwing all her food on the floor at lunch.
Liam is finally feeling better, but that hasn't kept him from being clingy. I think because Lorelei tries to pull his head off whenever she gets a chance.
I blew off some energy by hanging hooks in the back hallway - effectively turning it into a closet, since we have so little closet space on the first floor.
I cleaned the whole house up yesterday. It looked beautiful overnight. I also finished all the laundry and got it put away this morning. But unless I follow my kids around all day, cleaning up the mess they leave in their wake, the house will not stay that way. And I have enough of a headache today that I'm having trouble caring. Well, I care - a lot - that the place gets messed up as soon as they're conscious, but not enough to deal with the upkeep they require.
Hopefully we'll have game night at our house tonight - a regular one, so I'm not alone when it comes to tromping up and down the stairs for the numerous issues the kids have at night. I might even get to play!
I still haven't done cards. I could have done them last night while watching TV, but I was worn out from the day. Seems that's always the way. Maybe I'll try to get them done this afternoon. I wasn't paying attention last year when I bought the cards (or maybe I was and had a major brain fart) but you have to assemble the cards I bought. Am I dense, or what? Next year I'm taking the easy way out and ordering online. Fortunately Bob just bought a new printer because I don't have my labels printed and there's no way I'm writing 100 addresses by hand! Maybe if I get them out by Monday, that will be good enough.
ttfn. I think I have to go wipe a butt.

Facebook Post

16 things you may not know about me, that are actually true
Most of these things at least some of you will already know. I just don't have that many secrets.
1. I've had a crush on my husband since I was 13 or 14 (and he was 20!). But I was very fickle and had crushes on numerous other people as well.
2. I started a novel about one of those crushes. It was a story about how we got stranded together on a deserted island. I also have numerous love letters to the same person.
3. I've kept a diary since I was 14. My whole nightstand is full of the notebooks and journals I've filled (with really embarrassing stuff!!)
4. I'm pretty paranoid. I spy on people a lot to make sure they're not mad at me or betraying me. Even I find it annoying.
5. I'm sort of superstitious. I don't believe the stars create your destiny, but all those things can't be complete crap.
6. I believe in evolution, but not in Darwin's origin of the species.
7. The sound of my kids crying/whining makes me want to go to sleep. Not because it's soothing, but because I just don't want to deal with it.
8. I'm a huge procrastinator. I didn't used to be. I can't decide if it's a personality change or a season of life.
9. I can't wait for my kids to grow up. I do love them and enjoy them now, but I can't wait until I can sleep in in the morning and don't have to do everything for them.
10. I'm an optimist at heart, but I'm also a big complainer. I try not to be, I just can't help it!
11. I was pretty promiscuous at one point in my life. While I think it was wrong and really hope no one follows my example, I also have no regrets about it.
12. I have had dreams about just about everyone I know. Most of them are too embarrassing to tell about.
13. I have a phobia about throwing up. I will do anything to keep from throwing up (or keep my kids from throwing up).
14. Despite some indiscretions and a bad attitude, I think I was a pretty good kid.
15. Sometimes I ignore my kids when they're crying. Especially if they're just mad about something.
16. Most of my motivation comes from guilt - or trying to make other people happy. I'm not sure anyone else would call me a people pleaser, but deep down, I am.

YAY! I got a TON of paperwork done and most of the laundry too! :) Everything else is still a mess, but I'm happy! :)
Lorelei is most definitely sick. I had to give her meds 1/2 hour ago. Liam seems to be doing ok, since he's back in his bouncy seat. I have a feeling Molly and Maggie will be sick tomorrow. Maggie was sniffing and Molly was sneezing before they went to bed.
Maybe if I'm lucky I can get the house cleaned up tomorrow.

I am WAY stressed out today. I'm not really sure why except that I've reached my limit as far as how much laundry has piled up and how messy the rest of the house is. Liam is sick. I looks like the girls are getting sick too. And the level of paperwork in this house is really getting to me. It's become a constant background noise in my head.

Christmas List

I need to make a list of things I have to get done before Christmas...
Take the rest of the kids pictures
Finish the calendars and order them
Go to the mall for the last present that needs to be bought
Get pictures printed and do Christmas cards
Wrap everything
Get a schedule nailed down
Go shopping for ingredients...
I think that's it. Sort of.
I got my holiday letter written. Same old stuff, different year. New baby, ect. Although this will be the last year with a new baby (sigh).
I really need to do laundry and basically have not gotten off my lazy butt to do anything today. I don't know why I am so extremely unmotivated to get anything done! Usually this time of year I'm busting my butt to keep the house clean and get everything wrapped as soon as it comes to the house and all that. This year... The gifts are still in the amazon boxes in the back hallway and, although I cleaned up the living room enough to vacuum it, the house is a disaster. The dishes aren't done, the laundry isn't done, there are toys everywhere.
Maybe when my new vacuum cleaner comes I'll be more motivated. Bob bought me a broom vacuum for the first and second floors, since trying to vacuum hard wood with the upright can be a pain. He bought new stuff for the upright as well, since it needs a serious overhaul. But I'm all excited because that vacuum can live down here now and the broom vac should be able to fit in the hall closet which means the back hallway won't have anything in it anymore! :) I will have to charge the broom vac, though. Maybe it will live in the bathroom.
Bob also bought me a ring! :) I know, he can't keep a secret, but that means I get it early too! :) My engagement ring had broken (the prongs that kept the diamond in had bent) and I kept scratching the kids with it (when it wasn't broken) so I didn't wear it. My new ring uses my engagement ring diamond (which is what I wanted) but it's sunk into the band so that hopefully I won't scratch the kids anymore. Plus, I think it has extra diamonds on either side! :) I'm very excited to wear my diamond again!!
In other news, before I could get his precious face photographed for Christmas, Liam pulled a toy onto himself and got a big black and blue goose egg on his forehead. :(
Well, he's fussing, so I have to go feed him.
ttfn.

I'm kind of...

bored. Not bored in the sense that I have nothing to do, but more that I have nothing I want to do and nothing that's really pressing. I worked my butt off yesterday to get the house into a decent state of peace, so I haven't been doing much today. I finished (as much as I can) my final Christmas calendar today. Now I just have to get a suit for Liam and take the final pictures. I doubt I'll get a better one of Lorelei, even though she wasn't smiling in it:

At least she's looking at the camera and isn't crying - lol!

The kids have been on my last nerve today. They were ok this morning, but this afternoon they've just been fighting a ton. At least they haven't been fighting and whining. That would have been intolerable (I should know - it happens on a regular basis.)

I made deviled eggs this morning. Finally, something with flavor! I am so sick of eggs and meat and veggies and nuts - all I'm allowed to eat at this point. I mean, I really can't complain about the results, but the sacrifice!!

I still haven't taken a shower today (is it too much information to say for the second day in a row?). I'm really hating it. I guess I could lock all the kids in Lorelei's room to play - at least then I'd be able to hear them on the monitor while I shower. Bob has a dentist appointment this afternoon, so I won't be able to get one in after he gets home and before the guys get here.

I'm trying to withhold afternoon naps so that the two little ones will go to bed early. Lorelei took forever to go to bed last night. It was quite annoying.

ttfn - Liam's yelling at me for attention.

Technology

I hate it when technology is slow. I'm waiting to preview my one of three calendars that I'm making for Christmas presents and it's taking FOREVER to show up. Actually, it just erred because it ran out of time. Blah! How am I supposed to know if everything looks right?!? I've got to get this stuff done soon, too, because there's only 3 more weeks till Christmas! I'm hoping everything gets here next week and I can get it all wrapped and under the tree. Only, with Lorelei around, I'm not so sure that's a safe thing. She already reaches over the gate and pulls off ornaments!
I'm almost done downloading most of the pictures for my dad's calendar. Hopefully no one in my family reads this. I don't think they do. Anyway... If I can get most of the pictures downloaded then I won't have to do all that tomorrow. I'm trying not to reuse a bunch of pictures between the three calendars, but I have to do some. I'm drawn to the same few pictures of my kids each month. Not that they're not all cute! :)
I already bought cards for this year (and paper, and labels, and stickers! Wasn't I with it at some point last year?!?), so all I have to do is get 5 decent pictures of the kids (1 for each and 1 together) and write the letter and I'll be ready to assemble.
Why is the estimated time for things always wrong?
I guess I should go to bed soon. We don't have anything until Molly's dance in the afternoon, but she has school and I really should clean up the house.
Gees - Lorelei's awake... why won't my kids sleep?? She is getting the last 4 of her 20 teeth in. Her eye teeth, which made Molly and Maggie the fussiest. They've already broken the skin, but apparently that's not good enough for her.
Liam is still teething too, so he's still fussy. He has 2 teeth on the bottom and 4 on the top and is working on his two top eye teeth. It's weird how differently all my kids teeth came in...
Almost done downloading, so I'm going to get started... less to do tomorrow.
ttfn

I always think I'll be able to create a "personalized" item quickly. Then my perfection gene comes out and it takes forever. I have three rather largish ones to do this year. Good luck me...

Today

I've been productive and yet not so productive today. I took some Christmas pictures of the girls. I did some school with Molly. I did some Christmas shopping. I finally got a shower. Talked to my Granny on the phone. That's about it. No dishes, no laundry, no straightening, and nothing that I did "some" of completed. Today feels like a limbo day.
I still have to buy a suit for Liam so I can get his pictures done. Molly still has a ton of school to do this week. I have to get Liam's pictures done before I can finish Christmas shopping (although I still have a lot more I can do in the meantime!). The house is trashed at the moment. And my hip really hurts bad today because I fell asleep in the rocking chair with Liam last night and was in there for a few hours at least.
Liam has been really fussy all day. I got him to sleep for a little bit this morning and that's all. I should probably put him down for a nap again now...
ttfn

It doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I usually get the Christmas bug around Halloween, but not this year. I guess I was just too busy. Today we decorated the house. It looks really pretty, but I still don't have the Christmas bug! It just seems weird to have the tree up. It's like this whole year just flew by. I remember last Christmas like it was just a few months ago. It's like this spring and summer never even happened. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas - this really is my favorite time of year (although spring, whenever spring actually happens is a VERY close second), but this year it just seems a little flat. I think part of it has to do with my diet, to be honest. Everyone looks forward to the amazing food and goodies around the holidays and I can't eat any!! I haven't found a cookie yet that tastes as good as a sugar cookie. Or a decent pumpkin pie - the one I made was ok (although the "crust" was HORRIBLE), but it still wasn't the same. No mashed potatoes, no sweet potato casserole, no fruit salad. I have already decided that whatever day we do Christmas with my family, I am cheating. Big time. I have the most awesome Christmas brunch menu (we used it last year) and there's no way I'm going to pass it up. My first and most major goal has been accomplished and that's pain control. Most days I don't have any pain - unless it's in my hip and I really don't think my diet can fix a tear. So the only one left - and yes, it's a big one, but not big enough for me not to cheat - is weight loss. So I'm cheating on the Rosenshine Christmas day and that's that.
I didn't do pictures today, I figured we'd go for a more casual approach. Maybe I'll try to get some tomorrow. I still don't have an outfit for Liam, so I need to get that as well. I have all the things to make cards. I just need to write the card... I guess I have plenty to write. It just seems empty when I'm feeling like I am. Well, I'm off to write an email to the fam about get togethers.
ttfn!

Exhaustion

I have no idea why I've been so tired lately, other than the fact that I've been up with the kids every hour or so for the past week's worth of nights. But, that's really not terribly unusual, so, again, I have no idea why I've been so tired lately. I have to surmise it's from my diet. I'd think not consuming carbs would do that to you. But when I was first on it I felt really good and full of energy... or was that just when I was doing Lyrica? I don't know. I care too much about losing weight to stop the diet (and about not being in pain... you know, priorities) but I really can't function being so tired all the time. And there's nothing I can do about the kids waking up. Letting them cry does nothing but prolong the process. Not that I'm really in favor of doing that anyway.
It's 20 after 7. Molly's doing school and Maggie is playing on the "green" computer. (A little computer that has some games on it.) The little ones are in bed - thank God! They were both fussing all day long. I'd just about lost my mind!
P.S.I am amazed daily at Molly's brain. Watching her do school is just incredible (when she's doing it and not complaining). She is simply the smartest kid I've ever encountered. I know there are ones out there that are smarter, but she's really up there in the grand scheme of things. Her therapist wants her IQ tested (among other things). We've avoided this test on purpose up until now, but in order to get more individualized therapy, I guess it needs to be done. I have to admit, I am curious, although I know the test really isn't that accurate. It will be interesting, especially if she takes the test seriously. She's really grown when it comes to taking tests. Cyber school has helped in that area since she loves taking "tests" on the computer (when it comes to games) and so she doesn't really see it as a test!
Well, I have nothing to say, really, so ttfn!

The one thing I LIKE about snow

How reflective it is. It's brighter here (during the day, anyway) in winter, when snow is on the ground, than any other time. I like it.

Can we just go one month

without something major happening?

My morning started out quite nice. I had an hour long massage at 9 and then a manicure and then a haircut. I came home and hung out with Mags and Liam while Bob took Lorelei and Molly to McDonalds. Then I took Mags back to the hairdressers to fix my hair and then to the grocery store.

While I was at the grocery store, I got a call from Bob saying, "You need to come home now! Liam is choking on something and I can't get it out. He can still breathe, but just barely." So I left the cart, ran Maggie to the van and sped home. While I was pulling into the driveway, Liam finally choked out the butterfly pendant that he'd had lodged in his throat for the past 10 minutes. Bob said he'd actually stopped breathing for 20 seconds or so. I held him for a while and he was pretty lethargic and gurgley, so we decided I should take him to the clinic to get checked out. After we'd been there an hour, he started to perk up and the doctor said he looks ok, although his throat will probably be sore for a few days.

All my morning relaxation, down the drain!! But I'm so grateful to have my baby boy. All the way home I was praying, "God, please protect my son. Please let him get the object out by the time I get home." And God answered exactly that! :) The girls were pretty scared, so I'm hoping they've learned a bit of a lesson about picking up their small things...

About my hair. She got about half of it right the first time and I had to get her to fix the other half. It looks ok now, but it's at least 1/2 an inch shorter than I would have liked. Oh well, it will grow. And it will be a while before I need another hair cut! :)

ttfn. Bob's at the store and I have a date with Captain Picard.

Just one of the reasons I hate winter... we need to move south.

I suppose I hate snow because I'm lazy. My main reason for hating it is because it creates a lot of extra work. Of course there's plowing and cleaning it off cars and such, but there's also cleaning up all the puddles and other stuff you drag in the house because your shoes are wet. There's getting bundled up to stay warm, which makes you bulky and your kids bulkier. There's boots and things to stay dry - which require carrying other shoes along (or just leaving your boots on, which leaves puddles and crap all over the floor). With kids, very young ones anyway, it's just brutal. I have a hard enough time keeping the floor clean enough for Liam to scootch around on without all the pine needles and dirt and wet dragged in by the snow. And the older girls, of course, want to go out and play, but that means getting them dressed (which sounds simple, but it's a big long process with the extra layers and the bulky snow suits and the hats and the scarves and the mittens and the boots) and then trying to keep an eye on them through the window. And most of the time, if they fall, they can't get up because they're too bulkified. And if the older girls go out, Lorelei will want to go out, which means I have to go out and then what do I do with Liam? Once I can get them all dressed and send them outside by themselves for an hour or so, it won't be quite so bad. Once they're not crawling on the floor and putting things in their mouths, it won't be so bad. Right now, it's bad and I hate it. I didn't even mention the extra laundry. Snow is pretty while it's falling and for about an hour or so afterwards, but then it gets all melty and slushy and dirty and ugly. And then it refreezes and it's hard and slick and still dirty and ugly and the piles just sit around forever looking horrible. And, on a personal issue, our backyard is a huge mess because it never got cleaned up from the last time the kids were out (not to mention the fact that we have our horrible 1/2 torn down porch and dilapidated old dog barn and a pile of pieces from the porch just sitting there looking ugly). There's nothing that irks me more (actually, there is, but go with it) than new fallen snow making lumps and bumps on things that aren't supposed to be laying around. Ugh. I just want to crawl in bed until spring.

Funny

My kids think the word wax - as in ear wax - is plural for whack. So when I tell them they have ear wax in their ears, they think they have multiple little things. I was cleaning out Maggie's ears and she said "What kind of whack is it?" And Molly has said "How many whacks do I have in my ears?" It's quite amusing.

Posting just to post since it's been so long...

So, it's been a bit of a long while... I feel like my personal schedule has exploded with doctors visits and physical therapy and the like. Add Molly's school and the rest of the kids on top of that and I just don't have time or energy anymore. Not even to write. At the moment, Liam is asleep and the girls are watching a video. Yes, I know it's not even 10 in the morning, but I just can't do anything today. My hip hurts and I'm exhausted.
I MUST go to bed early tonight. There's nothing going on tomorrow, but I've not gotten to bed until after 1 just about every night this week. There's no excuse for that - it's just plain irresponsible and it has to stop!
I should do laundry today. I was so close to having it all done and then crapped out at getting things hung up. And it's already piling up again. If I can get it done before Saturday, maybe I can get it put away then.
Saturday morning I have a massage at 9 and then I'm getting my hair chopped off and then, if I can find a walk in place, I'm getting a manicure. I've been very good and have not bitten my nails off for about 2 weeks, which means they're pretty long. I think the supplements I've been taking are making them grow faster. It will be nice to have pretty nails again. I'm debating between something subtle - like a french manicure - or something like bright red. Guess we'll see what my mood is Saturday. I'm going to get my hair cut up to my head - off my neck, but hopefully it will still frame my face a little bit. I'm kinda nervous about it, but it's just hair and will grow back if I hate it. I've never really gotten a hair cut I HATED, although some were better than others.
I'm not losing weight fast enough. I'd really like to have a steady 2 pounds a week, but it's just not happening. I should have measured myself before I went on my diet because I have a feeling that information would be more satisfying. I just want to be skinny already! But... I never really will be because of my joey pouch... oh well. I'm old anyway - and married with 4 kids, so I'm not sure who I'm trying to impress.
Next Saturday (the 29th) we're going to put up the Christmas tree. I bought the girls their Christmas dresses last night. Now I just need to find something cute for Liam! Maybe I'll try Kohl's. Maybe I can tack that on to my spa day - or go out later with some of the kids or the whole family or something.
I'm really, really looking forward to Bob and I getting away for my birthday weekend. I feel like the kids are in a better place than they were the last time we went away. And Liam and Lorelei will both be here, so I think they'll sleep fine. I'm pretty sure Dawn is staying with them and they're both really comfortable with her. I'm not sure where the older girls are going (or if they're staying) but no matter what, I'm fairly certain they'll be fine. And then it's two whole glorious nights of sleep and two days of doing whatever with just Bob! :) YAY! We're going away for his birthday in September and I think I'm going to push for a 3 day/night get away instead of just two, since it falls over Labor Day and he won't have to take any more time off.
I really hope this coming year works out the way we want it to. We're expecting it to be easier than the past two years and it would be really nice if it were! I wish there were some way to win the lottery... I have it all planned out, if we would win. Lol. :) It's how I fall asleep at night.
Thanks to Dawn and the girls, I don't feel the driving need to clean up my house. They cleaned up the disaster that was our basement last night, so it's actually pretty stress free at the moment. I managed to get the dishes done last night as well, so there's only morning stuff up there.
I think I need to start wearing long underwear. I am SO cold these days! I cannot get warm. I wear undershirts all the time and socks too, but it's not enough. Right now Molly is sitting on the sofa wearing shorts and and camisole. I'd be convulsing with shivers if that's all I had on!
I need to schedule hair cuts for the girls as well. I'd like to get them done before I start taking their Christmas portraits. I wish had backgrounds to take pictures on. And a big light... I'll just have to take advantage of the sunny days from now until it's time to mail out cards. I think I bought Christmas cards to use for this year last year, but I can't remember. I need to go searching. I really hope I can get a decent Christmas photo of all 4 of them. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get the individual shots - Lorelei being the wild card, as usual. But even after 8 months of practicing, they're still very hit or miss (usually miss) on all looking, all smiling. I need a Christmas miracle! :)
And I'm praying for a house next year (I think). One that meets all our pickiest criteria.
Maggie wants me to read. ttfn!

I am utterly exhausted today and I'm not entirely sure why. The kids were up some last night, but not a horrible amount - at least not that I can remember. I did fall asleep without realizing it and that only happens when I'm really, really tired. Maybe the past two weeks are finally catching up with me.
It looks like a break is in sight, though, Beth is watching my kids all day Friday and Marti and Heather are watching the kids Sunday afternoon so Bob and I can go out. If I can just get through the rest of today, tomorrow and Thursday! :) I also have a massage, haircut and manicure scheduled for November 22. Yay! :)
Hopefully I'll be able to get the whole house straightened up by Thursday night and then Friday I can concentrate on really cleaning. The first floor needs dusted and vacuumed and mopped. All the bathrooms need seriously scrubbed and it would be really nice if I could get our bedroom cleaned well. If I can get everything else just vacuumed it would be a huge plus. Hopefully I'll be able to get the kids out the door before 10 and I usually leave the house to pick them up by 2:30 - I might put it off until 3. 4 hours of uninterrupted work will be nice! :)
I don't know if I'll be able to get laundry done by then, but it'd be nice not to have to think about that in between everything else.
I really need to get Christmas shopping wrapped up (haha). I'm very late this year. I'd like to get pictures printed to put up and send to the greats. I'm hoping to get them done this afternoon so I can pick them up tomorrow after Molly's therapy. Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I should probably clean up the house today and then just do maintenance on Thursday because nothing's going to get done tomorrow.
*sigh* so much to do...

Sort of a quiet moment

The kids are outside eating their lunch, so I'm in here by myself at the moment. It's pretty warm out, although the sun isn't shining. It'd be nice if it would - it's been cloudy pretty much all week.
I've gotten some things accomplished today, but not a ton. At least this area is cleaned up, but the rest of the house is still a disaster. I got started on the laundry, but it will take me all weekend to get it done.
I'm waiting for Cathy to come to take me to get my hip MRIed. I'm not looking forward to it, because they're giving me a shot in it and that just seems yucky to me. :( Maybe she'll stay and hold my hand.
Gees. Lorelei must be tired because she's crying about everything.
ttfn.

It's 4:02 pm and I'm finally eating my breakfast.

Again

I spent the day in the hospital with a kidney stone. This time I have Ida on my side. She gave me a bunch of stuff that should dissolve it and then maybe I can avoid them in the future. I feel pretty crappy still from the morphine (to which I had an "adverse reaction" - I couldn't breath and my chest hurt so they ended up doing an ekg, ect.) and all the vicodin. Just when I thought my pain was gone and I was off pain meds! I also got something for my sadd, which I really hope works because it's really bad right now. I know it's worse because I'm stressed, but I really need something to be halfway functional at this point. I'm wondering if the post pregnancies, ect. is contributing. I really hope I don't go through any major depressions - I'd like that part of my life to stay in the past.
My house looks like crap. I feel like I haven't really done anything since we got back. I've been walking around in a fog. Once again Molly didn't get a lot of school done today. We have to really get into it tomorrow morning before I have to take Lorelei to the doctor's.
I'm too spacey to write.
ttfn.

So, it's been a while...

We're back from Granny's and, while I always like being there, we didn't really have that great of a time. Basically the kids were sick the whole time we were there and I got no sleep because of it. And the Internet connection wasn't good at all, so we're way behind in school. So far it's going ok.

I'm taking all the kids to the doctors in about an hour. A whole hour of Dr. Richards time! :) I'm not sure Molly is actually all that sick. I suppose if it were just her, I wouldn't be taking her, but since they're all sick and she's been sick for a week, I'm taking her for insurance. I'll have to wake up Liam... I hate waking up kids.

Maggie was up for over two hours straight last night, coughing so much she was throwing up. She must have thrown up a dozen times and then dry heaved more times than I could count. We're all pretty exhausted today.

I'm fighting whatever the kids have. I can feel it in my throat - I've felt it for the past couple of days. So far I'm ok, but I'm not holding my breath... maybe I should, it might help!

I learned how to make the world famous Granny Fruit cake while we were in Va. I guess it remains to be seen if I can duplicate it on my own in any fashion that resembles hers. Next I need to learn to make cookies. Then I can keep my dad happy.

The house is a disaster - was a disaster less than 24 hours after we got home. I hate that. And I've got a ton of laundry - despite the fact that I did laundry up until the day before we left Granny's. How does that happen? I did laundry every other day there and still had a bag full when we came home.

I want to get a manicure. My hands look awful. But I feel like it would be a waste of money - seeing how often my hands are in water for washing dishes and kids, ect. It probably wouldn't even last a day.

I hit my second (of 20) weight loss goals yesterday. It's fun to see it happening so fast, but I have to admit I'm getting really tired of the lack of variety in food. But the pain management makes it worth it too. I have an appointment with my specialist this afternoon and I think he's going to be excited. He's been trying to get me off sugars for years.

Well, ttfn. I have nothing interesting to write at all. I'm tired and nothing's going on. This week the focus will be Molly's school and then maybe I can get something done around here. It's a shock going from Granny's beautiful, open, clean home to this dingy place. And the lack of sunshine isn't helping either.

That's the other thing on my mind - I think I need some sort of mental help during winter. I just can't stand the dark.

Ugh

I don't like this week already. I had my appt. with the hip specialist this morning. He's making me get an MRA (with an injection of dye and lidocaine) and physical therapy. Great. More things that I need a babysitter for.
I spent the rest of the day doing school with Molly. I'm trying to get the next two weeks done within today and tomorrow, but that's not going to happen. For one, most stuff for next week is not posted. For two, she can't be that focused for that long. So I have to hope that we'll have a decent Internet connection. She did get most of her language arts stuff done for this week, though. I swear, I'm sure they think I'm doing the work for her, but most of it is really easy for her and goes really quickly because she already knows how to read.
Liam is fussing his eyeballs out so ttfn

I'm still here!

Quick post just to say I've been very busy trying to be responsible. We're leaving Friday for Granny's and I'm hoping not to be stressed out by the process of packing so much stuff! (We'll be gone for 10 days so we'll need a lot!)
The diet is going well. It's not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. And I'm feeling SO much better as far as pain goes. I'm hoping that after we come back from Granny's I can try to quit another Lyrica... I'm scared, but I guess I can always start it back up again.
ttfn.

9:47 AM

Today is already one big crappy day. I'm exhausted, the kids are all whiny, I have tons of school to do with Molly and a sh*t load of work to do around here. Most importantly is laundry (horrible, horrible stuff) but then again maybe it's vacuuming up the hundreds of cheerios that are currently scattered all over the first floor. Tomorrow is a hugely busy day (as are all Wednesday) in which I won't be able to get anything done but running around, so it all HAS to get done today. I have lots of people coming for dinner as well, which means making food. Fortunately there are a few easy things I can do. Gag. I just want to go back to bed.

Chores? Schmores!

Instead of doing the MOUND of laundry that I have sitting here next to me, I went to my sisters today. We hung out, went out to lunch and took the kids to the park. I didn't get home until 3 and am exhausted! The kids are really wiped too, which means lots of fighting.
I have no idea what we're having for dinner tonight. I don't think we have a lot of leftovers. I suppose I could go see what we have. I know I got a few ingredients to make things. I'm so tired!
Tomorrow is the only free day I have the rest of the week. Wednesday is super busy with therapy and dance and nutritionist appt.. Thursday a friend of mine is coming over. Friday we're going to a field trip for Molly's school. Friday night is game night. Saturday is... something, I don't remember what and then I have only one week to get ready to go to Granny's! I hate time crunches. I used to do well under pressure, but now I just get bitchy.

Sunday Morning

No, we're not exactly being pagans again. Our church was effectively canceled because my pastor's son is becoming head pastor of our sister church, so every one's down there. But it's a bit too far for us with the kids, so we're staying home.
Bob is sleeping. I wish I were. I was up a lot last night. Lorelei was up for over an hour and as soon as I got her back to sleep, Liam woke up and then again and hour or two later. Couple that with not getting to bed until after midnight and I didn't get very much sleep at all.
My kids are being good this morning, though, so that's nice. I haven't had to do much with any of them. The girls have been in the basement all morning and Liam rolled around in the living room for a while before I brought him down here (when Lorelei fell off the horse). Now they're all playing contentedly in the family room. I like listening to my kids when they're happy.
We need to make a Costco run today - we're either out or almost out of a bunch of stuff we normally get from there. Other than that, I think we're good on errands. We went out yesterday (with the crankiest kids ever). I got a new purse! :) I'm very happy with it. It still holds a decent amount of stuff without getting heavy. And I got the cutest little wallet type thing for when it's just me and I don't need anything else. I love it!
I really need to do laundry today, but I'll be lucky if I get it all down here and sorted, I'm sure. I simply have to go back to bed when Bob gets up. It's all I can do to keep my eyes open and not fall asleep sitting here.
I haven't eaten anything yet today. I don't really know what I want. I'm getting pretty tired of eggs. There are those "pancakes" I made, but they really don't taste very good, despite looking good. There are definitely some things about this diet that I really don't like.
I think Liam is going to be napping soon, so maybe I can sleep on the sofa after that.
Oh, and I got my hair cut short yesterday and it's cute. And less maintenance. Not that it was a lot before. I still don't like my face, but there's not much I can do about that!
ttfn

My house currently smells like our septic tank. Don't get me wrong, I've very grateful for the septic tank guy, but our house always smells so bad afterwards! I'm hoping the smell goes away before the guys show up tonight.
I'm feeling lazy again today. I was sore this morning when I woke up, but my fingers weren't swollen! No matter what anyone says, while the diet food is good (most of it) it still doesn't taste as good as a casserole or real lasagna. I really hope I can work whole grains and milk back into the diet sometime.
Things to do today: school with Molly, clean up the basement and get it vacuumed, generally straighten and clean the first floor (especially the bathroom). And I would LOVE to get the bedrooms cleaned up as well, but that's not going to happen. Light some candles.

New Plan

Since my last post, the kids went outside, stripped down and got filthy. I bathed Lorelei in the kitchen sink before putting her down for a nap, but Molly and Maggie are still naked and dirty and I don't feel like changing that, so I'll go out when Bob gets home from work. Liam is sleeping now anyway.
I got most of what I wanted done accomplished, so I'm satisfied for now...

Wastes of Time

I'm wondering if I have the will power to limit my computer usage (or at least non specific usage) to twice a day. Non specific also includes checking my email since, unless it's expected, nothing is urgent and if it's urgent I usually communicate via phone anyway. I waste a lot of time sitting in front of my computer. If I got on, say, first thing in the morning and then didn't get on again until after the kids were in bed, I'd have a awful lot more time to do stuff around the house and with my kids. Not that the computer really takes all that much away from my kids, but it definitely helps me procrastinate on housework!
It's 11:30 and I just finished doing dishes. Not even finished them - they still need to be put away. And it's 11:30. Lunch time. Time to make more dirty dishes. I remember when Bob and I used to have an empty sink for at least a couple of hours in the afternoon.
I love my children and, to be honest, I'm enjoying them now more than I have in the past 2 years or so, but I am so glad they don't stay little any longer than they do. Not only am I excited to see how they change and who they become, but I'm also really looking forward to the day when they can really help out around here and do thing for themselves and aren't so labor intensive. I'm looking forward to being able to hop in the car and go someplace or even - gasp! - go someplace on my own and leave them her without a babysitter! Of course, that's about 8 years away. But it will happen some day!
I still haven't logged Molly into school yet. I need to clean up the living room and vacuum the first floor and then, when Liam wakes up and the kids have had lunch, we can go out and get the stuff we need. Maybe I'll just do school with her tomorrow... I don't think she has that much to do today.
I'm behind on pictures... I still need to do this month's teddy picture with the kids. Maybe I'll get that done this afternoon as well. Oh, and I need a shower...
Guess I should stop typing.

Diet

I forgot to mention that in a weeks time I am comfortably down to 2 Lyrica a day (as opposed to 3) and have taken Advil only one time in a week (as opposed to about 9 a day - no I am not exaggerating). From that point of view, the diet is working!

Crappy Day, Crappy Day

Actually, I suppose it's not that bad, I just can't see well at the moment... I'm not sure what my contact is doing...
It appears I have a publicist as well. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It makes me feel self conscious. Like now I have to write something really profound.
I have to go out shopping to day, at least to get formula for the kids. I'd like to get some clothes for them and a few other things, but since we are on our way to bankruptcy, I guess I won't.
I hate spiders. At the moment three is one crawling on the wall next to my desk. Hold on - have to kill it.
I don't have much to do today. Buy formula. School with Molly. Prepare some food for dinner - we're having company around 6. I'd like to get at least the first floor in decent order and maybe even clean the bathroom. I get so tired of living in a crap heap.
I broke down and made the chocolate substitute last night. It definitely does not taste like chocolate but it satisfied most of my sweet craving.
I'm struggling with the diet. It's not so much that it's hard to do, it's the idea of giving up all those yummy foods for good. And that there are a lot of things I have to make from scratch now, which is pretty inconvenient with 4 little kids. I need to go through my cabinets and separate out the stuff that I can't eat. Some of it I'm giving to my sister. There are a few things I'm not going to take away from the kids. Cheerios. Breads - although I will start buying whole grain. Zone Bars. I told them last night that once all the cookies and things are gone we're not going to buy any more. They didn't really like it, but maybe we can ease them into it. We don't eat too much of that stuff anyway, so I'm not sure they'll really notice all that much, especially if I come up with some kind of substitute. The whole things is so expensive and takes so much more planning. I guess I'll get used to the planning... but we're looking out of a hole right now as far as money goes. I'm so hoping this next year is easier.
I just don't understand where all the money goes. I mean, I know there are some things that are expensive (like this whole diet) but, for the most part, on paper it works out and then in real life, it doesn't. We always make a budget and stick to it for a while and then something always happens and we get out of it and then we get all upset about it and decide we don't care and then we're really irresponsible for a while and then we get stressed about it and then tighten the reigns so much that it's impossible to follow and then sit down and make a budget and stick to it for a while... Our most expensive months are from about mid-October to mid March or so. That's only 5 months. That leaves more than half the year that we should be able to follow whatever budget fairly easily. It's not a good sign that we're headed towards the expensive months already stressed about money.
I used to think that most people carried at least a little bit of debt. Now I'm not so sure - at least not in our circle of friends. The thing is, we've cut so many corners and already do so much - I just don't know what else we can do. I wish I had gotten my grandfathers coupon cutting gene.
I feel like I can't even think rationally about it. It's really hard for me to think about anything when my house is a mess. I know that probably sounds retarded, but it's true. My brain is even more connected with my atmosphere than it used to be, probably because I have less capacity to multi task (brain-wise, anyway) and I really hate mess.
Well, all the kids are downstairs now, so I really need to get moving on the day. Ugh... I just want to go back to bed!

Cravings

Last night and today have been a bit rough as far as cravings go. I haven't made anything sweet yet - there is a chocolate substitute I can make, but I haven't yet and I think I need to! :) As long as I don't let myself get too hungry I'm ok, but if my stomach starts growling all I want are carbs!
I'm having fun posting old pictures. I need to steal more from my mom! For some reason "my" box had all sorts of other pictures in it as well. I wish I had the money to get all the negatives I stole printed...
Pretty boring day. Molly did most of her school yesterday and what she had left she did without complaining(!!) this morning. Lorelei and Liam have both napped well today. Liam is still asleep - we're going on 2 1/2 hours! Molly and Maggie haven't fought too bad. We've had a bunch of media today - computer and videos - but I guess every once in a while you need a day like that.

Blast from the Past

I recently aquired my favorite picture of Bob when he was younger. I've added a picture of me at about the same age...

So much for writing daily...

I am the queen of making plans/schedules and not following through on them. So the diet is going fairly well. I feel like I eat a ton all the time. I cheated today and ate a sweet gherkin. Basically if anything has over 5 grams of carbs per 3 1/2 ounces I'm not supposed to eat it. But that seems to be the only restriction (other than avoiding most dairy, grains, fruits and sugars). I can eat whenever I'm hungry and however much it takes for me to not be hungry. But I really can't wait until my new cookbook comes because I don't really have that many ideas for meal recipes.
Today wasn't a horrible day, but it wasn't that great either. I slept most of the morning (I was up late at Cherie's and then even later doing dishes). Then I had my appointment with Ida and then school with Molly. We got everything done, but she still complains so much!!

Much later

I always mean to go to bed early and never do...

Eggs

Day 2 - I love eggs. They're one of the only things that I don't have to change the way I previously made them.

Lorelei's surgery went well. It was really fast and she was very good. She threw up on the way home, though, and she's sleeping now. I'm hoping when she wakes up she'll feel a lot better.

Bob has the day off, so he's doing school with Molly.

I hate my life right now.

I want to give up after 6 hours. Not because it's hard, but because my kids have been complete and utter brats ever since they got in the car this afternoon and I want to eat my stress and frustration away. That makes me even more angry because what kind of an idiot does that?
I'm worried about tomorrow. I'm worried that Lorelei is going to wake up and want her bottle and we can't give it to her. I just don't think I can handle dealing with her all night and then having her miserable in the morning. At least the surgery won't take long. My mom is going to babysit so Bob and I can both go. This is going to be a long night.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow because I have to find something else to eat while everyone else eats pizza. That's just going to piss me off in a situation that will probably already piss me off.
I still have laundry to do and tons of straightening and vacuuming to do and I don't feel like doing any of it. All I want to do is take a bath. I'm freezing cold.
And it's 8:30 and Molly and Maggie are still up. Molly is still doing school because she won't just sit down and focus. I could strangle that girl right now.
I'm just in a really shitty mood right now.

It's the end of the world as we know it

Thanks to Bob for getting that song stuck in my head.
So today, Beth watched my kids (thank you, Beth!) from about 9:30 am to 3:00 pm. And she wants to do it again!! She says they are very good and well behaved and polite and kind. Whose children was she watching?!? Anyway, I'm looking forward to having a whole day here at the house by myself!
Today I had part of the day to get some cleaning done (my dining room and kitchen floors are actually clean!!) and then had my appointment with my nutritionist. Yes, I have decided to get serious about food (and health and all that goes along with it).
I first saw her on Monday to do tests and things and then again today to get the results and plan and then I see her again on Monday to see how things are going and check up on stuff. I am on a very strict diet (basically only veggies and meat). I'm ordering a cookbook from amazon with recipes that follow the diet and until then, I can only think of one thing that I can eat: tacos. And I'm not even sure I can put in the chick peas and black beans and baby corns. Pretty sure not. And I have to make my own taco seasoning to make sure it has no sugar in it. And I can't have any store bought salsa. And no sour cream. And no shells, of course. But I can still eat olives! :) I had eggs for lunch today, fried in real butter - no margarine, with only salt and pepper on them. That's usually how I eat eggs anyway, so that's no big deal. It will be my staple breakfast from now on. Guess we'll be buying eggs from Costco! I'm taking supplements as well, so hopefully that will help too. I'm going to try to write daily about what's happening so that I can remember for myself. That way if it goes well, but I'm getting discouraged, I can read back and see how far I've come.
I'm trying to get school done with Molly, not only for today but for yesterday and tomorrow as well. Lorelei gets tubes in her ears tomorrow morning and I don't know how the rest of the day will go. Plus we have family coming in to visit. I think we'll be able to get math and science done, but I'm not sure about language arts. We'll probably have to separate that into two days. I just can't seem to consistently get Wednesday stuff done on Tuesday. :(
4:30 already! Today flew!!

Tired again

So I haven't been feeling very well today and I'm not really sure why. I've been busy, but not extremely so. Since the last time I posted, Pop died and we went to his funeral Saturday. Sunday we had to go to church because we floated and then Faith and Mike and Angel were here after church and we played Rock Band. Yesterday I just did laundry, mostly, and had my appointment with my new nutritionist. I go back to her on Thursday and will get all the instructions for my new way of life.
But I started feeling bad yesterday and today I've been sleeping most of the day. I haven't done any school with Molly at all (although I logged her in, so she won't be marked absent). Liam spent his morning (after his nap) in the exersaucer next to the sofa while I slept. It's hard to sleep when he's awake, though, he's just so darn cute! :) But now it's 12:46 and I haven't done a thing, including get back to my water guy who's supposed to come and change our UV bulb. I feel bad, he's a really nice guy, but when he called I was so tired and just wanted to sleep, so I didn't answer.
The only part of Molly's school I'm concerned with is her language arts because she always has more to do in that class than any other and she hates writing so it takes her forever. And with tomorrow being a Sharon and dance day, I really don't want her to get behind. Friday will be taken up all day as well, so we have a very limited week this week. I guess there is the weekend... she has a two week time lapse between when things are posted and when they're actually due. But I really don't want to get into the habit of getting things done "just on time".
Liam is sitting in his high chair playing with Cheerios and watching the fish and blowing raspberries and every time I look at him he gets a huge grin on his face. :) I think he knows he's cute.
Lorelei asked to take a nap today around 11:00. I'm wondering if she's not feeling well. I'm pretty sure she has fall allergies, although so far they're only manifested in sleepiness, for the most part. You can see the circles under her eyes, though.
I should eat lunch. And get off my duff. I have two loads of laundry to put through the washer and dryer and then I have to put everything away. There's still stuff not put away from the last time I did laundry... I'm turning into my sister. Love you, Faith! :)

So today has sucked so far. I'm tired and in pain (though I must say, not nearly as badly as before Lyrica) and the kids have just been insane. Liam is starting to go through separation anxiety, so he cries whenever anyone leaves the room. Lorelei is her own cranky self, as usual, but it's been a bit worse today. She broke my hurricane candle thingy, she and Maggie got so filthy covered with dirt that all it did was make mud when I tired to wash their hair. Molly has complained every single step of the way with school today and has barely made a dent in her schoolwork in the past two hours. My house is filthy. The kids have hair cuts this afternoon at 3 so I'm under a time crunch and it's just making everything worse. And Lorelei can't take her nap because of it.
Pop died yesterday and the funeral and everything is Saturday. Because of that and the rain, the yard sale is canceled.
And the funny thing is, while I'm kinda stressed, in the back of my mind I just don't care anymore. I'm so tired of trying to maintain any sort of decency in this household. I just quit.

Tuesday

We found out last night that Bob's grandfather is dying, so he and Dawn are going to see him this afternoon. That sort of thing really hasn't let up this year...
Molly's wigging out about dance class, so I called in the reinforcements and Mom's going to take her. Mom is her favorite person in the world, after all...
And it's supposed to rain on Saturday so I don't know if we'll be having the yard sale.
ttfn.

Lorelei

So I think I had what is actually the scare of my life this morning. I was working with organizing school stuff inside and the girls were playing outside (like they had been all morning) and I walked out to see what they were doing and didn't see Lorelei anywhere. I asked Molly and Maggie where she was and they said they didn't know. I was trying to remember the last time I heard her voice (because even when I'm busy inside that's how I tell what they're up to and if they're ok) and I couldn't remember. Well, I panicked. I went running down the driveway screaming her name at the top of my lungs because all I could think of was that she either went into the road or into the creek. There was a girl walking along the road and I asked her if she'd seen a little baby girl about 18 months old with bright red hair and she said no, but she'd help me look. (While I was running down the driveway I had told the girls to go look in the house.) We ran up and down the creek and road - I was still screaming Lorelei's name at the top of my lungs - but no sign of Lorelei. Finally I heard Molly yelling "She's inside, she's ok!" I yelled thank you to the girl and ran up the driveway as fast as I could. I guess at some point Lorelei had come inside, but I didn't notice and since she was going inside the girls didn't really pay attention. She was on the stairs to the basement, going down, I'm assuming. I scooped her up and immediately started bawling my eyes out. Maggie was already bawling her eyes out. Lorelei was really confused as to why I was so upset and wouldn't let me hold her very long because she wanted to play. Then I had to call my friend back because I was talking to her on the phone when I realized Lorelei was missing. That was over an hour ago and I still feel all shaky and sick to my stomach. Lorelei is perfectly fine, but I feel like the world's worst mom, not knowing where my 18 month old kid was. They were outside for about 3 hours this morning while I did school with Molly and there were no incidents whatsoever. Technically this wasn't an incident either - she hadn't wandered off, she just came inside where she's allowed to be! But, since I wasn't really paying attention it turned into one. That girl on the street probably thinks I'm crazy, as does anyone in the neighborhood who heard me (which is probably everyone because I was really screaming loudly - my throat hurts because of it). And the donkey's next door do too, because I was screaming in such a way as to make them start braying. All I can say is, thank God for keeping Lorelei safe even when I don't and... we need a fence so we only have two options, inside or in the back yard. I could trust the older two, even when they were Lorelei's age. I can't trust her, she's too adventurous.
Well, I'm off to put Lorelei to bed... in her crib... where she can't get out!

Today

Believe it or not I had every intention of going to church today, but I fell asleep on the sofa and didn't wake up until 1/4 after 9. Way too late to wake up Bob and get everyone ready to go (no one had breakfast, no one was showered or dressed, ect.), so we stayed home again. He slept in a bit and I took a nap and then we went out for the afternoon while the kids were babysat.
We spent way too much money, but we had a good time and we bought things for the kids, which made them happy. I love spending time with Bob. It's so relaxing. And it's especially nice without the kids every once in a while. It's almost like we're dating again. :)
Enough schmoopiness. I have things to do.

:)

I LOVE LYRICA!!

School

Molly is sitting next to me reading this because she refuses to do her language arts assignment. For some reason she hates writing and refuses to practice as well. She can talk the hind leg off a donkey, but if you ask her to come up with sentences for a writing assignment she claims she can't think. Personally I think she's just being lazy. This is the only class that challenges her and the one reason she repeats she can't do it is that because she taught herself how to write letters she can only write upper case. So I'm going to have to supplement writing practice.
I don't know what to do about the "thinking problem". Is it a disciplinary issue? Do I spank her for it, since I know if she focused she'd do fine? Do I lead her with questions? I don't want to do all the thinking for her - then I'd be doing her assignment. The frustrating thing is that I know she is perfectly capable of doing this assignment with minimal help from me (and in a short amount of time as well) and she sits around whining and complaining and wasting time. It just makes me want to smack her.
On another note... Molly needs a haircut. Her bangs are in her eyes.
This morning I wanted the kids to get a chance to play outside so I could get things done in here, but I thought "I'll just take the opportunity" (I hadn't had a shower yet.) "to clean up the pool that has been sitting with stagnant water in it for over a month." So I pulled up the pool and there was a snake underneath! Well, I got a shovel to pick up the snake and put it over the fence, but it slithered into the long grass that had been around the pool. Well, that just freaked me out because I didn't want the kids coming across it later. So I decided to mow the backyard. I got the push mower out, but I couldn't get it started so I tried the riding mower. I finally got that started (and out of the barn, which was no small feat) and mowed. Then we cleaned up all the toys and washed off the concrete and I pulled some weeds and just generally straightened. It looks SO much better! I don't exactly know what time I started, but it was no later than nine, I'm sure. We finally came in at 11 because the kids had gotten soaked and were cold and Liam and Lorelei were tired.
The girls were all excited because I decided to take a shower with them. :) After I got out, I filled the tub and they played while I put Liam to sleep and then got Lorelei out and put her to sleep and then got them out and came down to start lunch and school. The dishes still are not done.
And now it's already 2:30 and we're still not done with school and the only "cleaning" I've gotten done (in the house) is vacuuming. I wanted to mop the floors, clean the bathroom and get the basement cleaned up as well (in case the guys wanted to play rock band), but I'm not sure that's going to get done. I guess I could clean up the basement while the guys are doing their RPG (I'm pretty sure they're doing that first.).
And I've gotten a bare minimum of things going for the yard sale. I really need to get working on that. I've missed every single day of my scheduled rooms to go through. Part of it is because I really feel like Bob and I need to do it together since it's his stuff too and I don't want to pull a bunch of stuff out that I'm going to have to put back if he doesn't agree to get rid of it.

~Long break in which I did dishes, among a lot of other things...

We got a backup too! :)

I Think We Got One!

I think we (finally) got a decent picture of all 4 kids at once! :)

Evening

Tonight was the kind of night I'd like to have every night (minus the Lorelei not going to bed easily). We ate dinner, went for a walk, played outside for a little bit, the kids got baths and now they're in bed (again, minus Lorelei - well, she's in bed, but making noise). It was nice to hang out together and have a minimal amount of screaming and whining.
I'm downloading pictures right now - I have almost 300 to go through. I can do it pretty quickly now, but it still takes some time. I didn't really get to go through Liam and Lorelei's room today. I wonder if I'll have time tomorrow? I'm looking forward to tomorrow being over. I think the kids will have fun 'cause we'll be out and about, but it's going to be stressful for me. And I don't know how Maggie's going to do with dance class. I'm not sure if putting she and Molly in a class together is a good thing or not. Guess we'll see. I'm planning on shopping while they're in class. It will be different with just Lorelei and Liam along!
I think I may have blogged about this before, but it continues to puzzle me. Can all plants live without dirt? So far I've converted a number of plants in my house to water and they're all doing well. Better than the other plants, actually, because I can tell when their water is running out. I haven't done them all, although I'm really tempted to do a few other ones that seem perpetually dry and dying. I have an orchid that is dying. I can't figure out what conditions it wants, but I guess I don't have them. So it will be replaced soon. It's a pity because it was very pretty, but at this point I don't see it flowering again.
We'll have another Buffy session tomorrow. If we watch 4 episodes a night it will still take us 39 nights to watch it. Since we don't watch every Wednesday, it will probably take us a while. Especially since we have other shows we watch starting in January. We might have to add another Buffy dedicated night...
Lorelei is still making noise. That girl just doesn't give it up. She's our only kid who doesn't put him/herself to sleep. Liam already does it. Molly and Maggie did by his age too - and never reverted. Lorelei used to, I think... I can't actually remember. But she hasn't for a while now. I don't know what to do. Crying it out doesn't work - she'll just make herself puke... I know I've blogged about this before, but it continues to be an issue. She's crying now, so I guess I have to go back up since Bob is working tonight...
Photos are done. Maybe I can get them up and posted before 10!
ttfn!

2:00

Breakish. Lorelei will probably wake up soon. She was having an allergic reaction to something so I gave her benedryl and about 20 minutes later she came up to me and said "Bottle? We will rock you?" :) That was about 11:30, so she's been asleep a long time. I just got Liam to sleep. Molly and Maggie are coloring - happily for the moment - and telling each other stories about the pictures they are coloring.
School was fine until the last assignment and Molly decided she didn't want to do it. It took over an hour of her sitting at the table doing nothing with no one talking or responding to her before she finally decided she would do it. Then it took all of 15 minutes for her to complete. Ridiculous.
I had my first "aww" moment as Molly's teacher (or rather "home facilitator") today. We were reading a story and she was supposed to predict what happened next and she started to answer and then looked at the picture and while I was watching her face it clicked in her head. It was a funny outcome too, so her eyes lit up and she started laughing. Her whole face in transformed when she looks like that.
I gave in a ate lunch (now). Leftovers from last night. My stomach was growling. But I still feel like a loser.
Tomorrow, depending on how much work she has already, I'm going to get Molly to do stuff for Wednesday as well. She has Sharon at 10 and dance at 1 and between the two I'm not sure when she'd get work done. (You have to add 1/2 an hour for "get ready" and transport time on either end of both activities, so it's basically from 9:30 to 11:30 and 12:30 to 2:30 that she'll be occupied. And if she eats lunch in between, that takes that hour, so it's more like she's busy the whole day.) Anything that's left will have to be done around 3 and that's not a good time of day at all.
If it weren't for school I could have gotten a really good nap today... I need to try to get to bed before 11 tonight. I also need to try to get the basement cleaned up. It's pretty bad. And I need to do laundry. I'm falling behind on that as well. And I haven't gone through Liam or Lorelei's room yet. That shouldn't take too long, but it's hard to do when they sleep so much. I guess I can see if Bob and Steven will watch them for a little bit after they get home from work.
I need to take down the curtain in the dining room and wash it because Liam got biter biscuit goo all over it...
Ugh. I'm so tired right now. I just want to sleep! But I know as soon as I lay down Lorelei will wake up and I'll be more tired than ever. I have to take my pill in 45 minutes. That's not going to help at all. But I'm not supposed to have any caffeine either. It aggravates things. So what am I supposed to do?
ttfn.

8:00 am

It's way too early in the morning to be awake. I must say, though, despite the fact that I was up 4 times in 6 hours last night I'm still not doing too badly, relatively speaking.

9:00 am - Got distracted by Lorelei and Liam fussing and then Maggie woke up and needed to change and then I decided to look at winter stuff for her and put away some clothes and then I had to put Liam down for a nap and get the girls' breakfast.
So anyway, I'll be taking 3 pills on Thursday. (It's supposed to be Wednesday, but I don't know how I'll be and Wednesday is a busy day, so I'm waiting till Thursday.) It will be interesting to see what it does. I really don't like some of the side affects (swelling in arms and legs and weight gain). I'm not sure if I think the payoff is worth it. I know that sounds really silly, since I've been feeling so much better, but psychologically speaking, I'm not sure if I can handle weighing more than I already do. I've been wanting to lose about 100 lbs for a while now and this will not be helping at all. I'm eating cereal for breakfast now, because it's what I really wanted and if I don't eat what I'm hungry for than I'll just keep wanting it, but I'm not planning on eating again until dinner. I know it's not the healthiest method, but it's the one I know and it's the easiest.
I love it when the kids clothes change seasons. I kinda forget what they look like in long sleeves over the summer (and short sleeves over the winter), so I always think they look so cute! :) I might have to buy some things for Maggie. She's smaller than Molly was and Lorelei is even smaller than Maggie, so I know I'll need them for her.
I was thinking yesterday about how hard it will be when Maggie starts school, but then I was thinking that by the time Maggie starts school she'll be 5 1/2 and Lorelei will be 3 1/2 (the same age Maggie is now) and Liam will already be 2 1/2 - a whole year older than Lorelei is now, so it probably won't be that hard! :)
I think I'm actually over the hump as far as the hardest part of my life goes. This past year and a half has been pretty horrible, but now Lorelei is FINALLY starting to play on her own and she can go up and down stairs with someone watching and Liam is already sitting up. Next year he'll be walking and one can only hope that Lorelei will be a lot less cranky. Maybe I can get some stuff done around here then.
I have to reorganize stuff in Liam and Lorelei's room today (according to my schedule) and see if there's anything in there for the yard sale. I think I need to be really hard core about this purging. We'll have 4 kids getting Christmas and birthday presents this year and that's an awful lot of new stuff. There are things that the girls have never (or rarely) played with and I doubt that Liam will be agog over, so despite their educational value I'm going to get rid of them. They just take up space, more than anything else.
Well, I have some emails to write and then school with Molly, so ttfn!

Just another manic Monday

School was a long drawn out process this morning. Even so, we were done by noon. Molly complains about EVERY SINGLE THING I ask her to do. It's SO fun. (Sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.) It's still not hard stuff. She knows it all - I think that might be part of her problem. She keeps calling it stupid, which probably means she feels patronized.
I wrote out a schedule for purging and reorganizing the house based on how busy we are on certain days. There are only 12 more days until the yard sale! I haven't done a single thing to get ready for it, including advertise, which I wanted to start doing at the beginning of this month, but I guess I'll wait until the week before... never mind. I just spent a few minutes advertising online, so I guess we're stuck doing it now!! :) The only other thing I have to do is make signs. I'm hoping I can recruit my brother to do the lettering.
Wow. Just looked at the extended forecast to see what they had posted for the week before the reunion and it's all sunny days! It's all in the 70's too, which means maybe I can open the house up! :) (I know the forecast is about as reliable as, well, something really unreliable, but still, it's hopeful!)
I need to clean up the basement again. In the course of the past few days it's gotten rather destroyed again.
My goal for the yard sale is to make everything in our house fit in our house nicely - meaning, without being smushed into spaces and without having every single space filled. (Also, in the case of the kitchen, not having inconvenient spaces filled at all.) I guess we'll see how well Bob's and my marriage is doing... :)
And I'm trying really hard not to eat. I've had scrambled eggs today. And a banana cookie that I ate without thinking (to prove to Lorelei that they were good, since she was pitching a fit about eating one). I've just had it with the way I am.
Lorelei is awake!
ttfn!

Just another pagan Sunday

Taking a break from Rock Band... Bob is feeding Liam. My good deed for the day - helping a spider catch a stink bug.
We didn't go to church today (in case you couldn't tell by the title). We were up late last night and I was... um... drinking and had too much so I could barely open my eyes. In my defense, Bob was serving and I haven't had any alcohol since New Years before I was pregnant with Molly (2000 - 2001).

*Rock Band*

Got to go to bed. I think tomorrow's going to be boring. I have nothing on the calendar and Bob has to take the van to work since his truck is in the shop (so I can't go anywhere). Oh well, I suppose there's always cleaning to do.
Molly will have a lot of school. Monday is the day with the most stuff posted for the week. I try to get it done because you never know what will happen.
A side note - I think playing bass on Rock Band is improving my typing skills...
ttfn

Pain (despair and agony on me... lol)

I swear there's something wrong with my ribs. I was in so much pain overnight (and this morning) I was dreaming about being in pain.