Early Bedtime

So, it's 7pm and I'm in bed for the night. At least, that's the theory. As soon as Bob runs to the store, I'll be up half a dozen times with kids. But it looked good on paper.

I should have stayed up to finish my last few chores - dishes, the last little bit of laundry, preparing lunches for the kids. I could have vacuumed the basement and dusted or something too. But Bob thought taking a shower and going to bed would be better for me. So that's what I'm doing. My legs and feet do hurt. Not just because I've been busting my butt to get things done around here this week, but because I fell over the weekend and busted up my knees. They're getting better, but they still hurt a lot.

We're still in good shape to get my 'To Do' list done tomorrow. Or at least the stuff that really matters to me. Probably at the very top of my list is the laundry, purging, closets (purging), garage (purging) and taking all the purged items to the Salvation Army. Cleaning the bathrooms and mopping the floors and wiping the stairs would be nice. Much beyond that I can take or leave, since I should be able to putz around and get it done without too much trouble on Friday.

I'm not particularly fond of who I am when I'm working hard to get (or keep) the house clean. I yell at the kids a lot more. I clench my jaw a lot more. I'm much more on edge. Part of why I purposefully tried to let my housecleaning standards go is because I wanted to be a better mom. For the most part, that experiment has succeeded. I'd rather my kids not be slobs. I want them to learn to take care of themselves and their things and not live in filth, but I want them to be able to be kids and play too. That being said, I'm not particularly fond of who I am or how I feel when my house is a mess either. It's true I can be more relaxed, but I also reach my tolerance and then the... mess... hits the fan. Personally I'm a neat, organized human. I like a clutter free, clean environment. It's where I feel the most at ease. When things start looking overwhelming, I can get pretty emotional. It's not pretty. So where is the happy medium?

I'm looking forward to the day all four of my children are in school full time. Not that I won't miss them. I really will. I like babies and young kids. I can honestly say I've enjoyed every age. (Not to say I've enjoyed every PHASE - that's something else entirely...) But there will be something extremely pleasant about getting caught up with housework and maybe, every once in a while, having a day 'off'.

So anyway, I'm spending the rest of the night in bed so I can work my butt off again tomorrow. :)